Episode Report Card Sars: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Secrets And Lies
By Sars | Season 3 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.09.1999
Jen trucks up the front walk of The White House -- well, a house that looks a lot like it, anyway -- finds a note on the door, and lets herself in. Inside, she finds old-style furniture, sepia-toned photographs, flocked wallpaper, and myriad other decorating fooferaws which she will no doubt interpret as license to treat Miss Freckling with a total lack of consideration. As she eyes a dressmaker's dummy with suspicion, Miss F bustles in with a tea tray and tells Jen to stand up straight. Good advice, that. Miss F asks Jen's opinion on the dress, and tells her that she makes a new one for the gala every year. Jen tries to say that she wanted to talk to Miss F about just that, but Miss F rambles on about remaining modern, lifting the hem, and so on, and Jen starts, "Listen, Mrs. Freckling," and Miss F corrects her, "Miss Freckling. I never married." Just then, they hear a huge crash from above, which Miss F explains as "Hank, my handyboy" who lives down the road and is presently "hanging extra twinkle-bulbs on my roof." Jen smiles politely before trampling Miss F's feelings, saying that she's "been through all this before" with her mother, who kept trying to turn Jen "into a debutante," and "it's just not really my thing." Miss F informs her sternly that she has a responsibility as the newly-crowned HQ to help Miss F host the gala. Jen says she "never asked for" that responsibility, and Miss F remarks balefully that she didn't ask for Jen, either, commenting that most girls "are pleased as punch to be here" and "relish the chance to be role models" -- or, at the very least, have the grace and tact to pretend they do. Miss F busts on Jen for her posture, her rat's-nest hair, and her failure to wear a bra. Go, Miss F. Jen trucks out, shaking her head, and Miss F watches, open-mouthed.
As she exits the front door, the sound of an M-80 going off precedes the undignified descent from the roof of Henry Parker "And The Vicious Circle." Henry, falling: "Aaaaaahhh! [Oof.]" Jen says, "Hank?" and Henry grabs her hand and says, "Quick -- bees, run for your life!" They take off in the direction of a greenhouse.
Pacey and Joey sweep up on the worksite. Joey makes a snide comment about the cops disappearing "when the going gets tough," and Pacey points out that some of them have to get home to their wives and children. He goes on to suggest that the Potters name the addition after him. "Mmm. Keep talking, it'll be a memorial dedication," Joey quips. Pacey calls her "lack of gratefulness [sic]" unappealing. Enter Bessie with the phone; the call is for Joey, and whoever it is "sounds upset." Joey says "hello" a couple of times. On the other end, Andie snuffles, "Joey, please help me," and Joey locks eyes with Pacey and looks frightened.