Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Of Camdens
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.12.2003
Admissions Guy 2: I'm starting to think that just being near this family is enough to make you a "victim."
Admissions Guy 1: So I'm a victim?
Admissions Guy 2: Only if I get to be an "angel."
Admissions Guy 1: How are you an "angel"?
Admissions Guy 2: Well, I do have ADD. I'm pretty sure that's enough.
"Ex-boyfriend stealer" Helena had acne, and dated Mike Pierce. "Con artist" Ray tried to sue the CamFam, but we never found out what happened with that, and we don't this time either. Paul was retarded; thus, he's an "angel." And lastly, there was "ex-hooker" Christine.
Admissions Guy 1: Is that Tara Lipinski?
Admissions Guy 2: Actually, I think it's Mr. Ed's great-granddaughter.
Ruthie rides a horse in her stick-figure picture. Her list starts off with "chimpanzee" Eisenhower, who, as we see a picture of Eisenhower standing over Ruthie's bed while she lies in it giving him a come-hither stare, "needed a mate."
Admissions Guy 1: …and Ruthie was only too happy to oblige!
No list would be complete without a "victim," and Ruthie's is Ben, whose parents lost their money in Y2K. That's right -- he's a "victim" because he's poor. "Plagiarist" Chrissy stole Ruthie's idea for a story about her loser Aunt Julie. "Teacher" Ms. Riddle's anger issues made her call Ruthie "stupid."
Admissions Guy 2: Anger issues? Or reality issues? As in, being the only person near this family who has any grasp on it.
"Victim" Julia was poor, of course. "New kid at school" Yasmin was a "moderate Muslim" who everyone hated. Also, as many people in the forums have pointed out, Yasmin was a pretty conservative Muslim, so Brenda Hampton was probably insinuating that the conservative Muslims are the ones who fly planes into buildings. One step forward, five steps backward for Brenda Hampton's attempt to improve people's understanding of other religions. "Jockey" Caitlin "faces the challenge of living with cystic fibrosis."
Admissions Guy 1: Shouldn't that make her an "angel"?
Admissions Guy 2: Maybe she thought about smoking pot once.
Simon's stick figure graphic reads "Simon (me)." You know, in case you forgot who Simon was. Because you're retarded. I mean, "an angel." Stick-figure Simon stands in front of a stick-figure camera while movie set sound effects play. "Future leader" Nigel deserves better than being a name on a list, considering that he was Simon's friend for a few seasons. Simon just refers to him as someone he defended after he was called a racial slur. "Bully" Mark ripped his pants, and Simon gave him his jacket to cover up. Stan apparently has no outstanding personality traits other than that he's a "brother of a gang member." "Son of a moron's" dad said that the Holocaust never happened. "Neglected child" Sarah was brought home like a stray puppy (they even give us barking sound effects) after her alcoholic dad left her on the street. "Users" Marie and Joan invited Simon to their party so he would bring Lucy. Simon's friends in the AV club were paint "huffers." Lee was the "son of a pothead." Bobby is a "victim" of Tourette's syndrome. I'll bet he would love to know that he is being described as a "victim" and "not a normal friend" because of that, too. I hate this goddamn show. "Armed and disturbed" Nick carried a gun to school. Johnny was a "criminal" who shot RevCam. We see a picture of Johnny standing in front of RevCam with a gun behind his back. It shakes as a gunshot sound effect plays. Way to corny up your dad almost getting killed, there, Simon.
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