Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Reed Cries When He Spies
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.17.2005
Bridge. We see the wreckage of a ship. T'Pol reports no bio-signs and reads several bodies aboard but none of them are Denobulan. "Can you tell who did this?" Quantum demands of Reed. Reed stares down at his comm., where we can see flashing text reading "Weapons signature confirmed" at the bottom of his analysis. Reed swallows hard, presses his delete button, and says, "No, sir," while looking all shifty-eyed. He haltingly says that he will have to bring some of the debris aboard to analyze it. Dude, and you're supposed to be a SPY? Could you be less convincing here? You might as well get a trenchcoat, a cyanide capsule, a shoe phone, and creep around the ship with a tape deck playing "Live and Let Die" for all the subtleness you are bringing to this assignment. The only reason why Quantum doesn't cotton on is because he's actually more stupid than you are and his vision is impaired by his furrows.
Quiznos that isn't. Phlox realizes the virus is some sort of mutated form of Levodian flu. Antaak says that it's immune to whatever they throw at it. Phlox wants to contact the IME through roundabout channels for information. Antaak hands over the entire IME database that he stole. As Antaak goes on how his department is underfunded and he's forced to obtain medical supplies and information by nefarious means so he can save lives, I thrill in the fact that they got John Schuck for this role. He was so great when he wanted Kirk extradited for crimes against the Klingon Empire. Just as Phlox says they won't be able to map the virus genome without the proper technology, a diseased Klingon is dragged in and set before the Denobulan doctor. Phlox examines him and freaks about exposure to the virus. Antaak explains that the diseased Klingon is at stage one and it's not contagious until stage three (THAT WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER). Antaak moves to kill the sick Klingon so Phlox can dissect and examine him. Phlox won't hear of it. As they debate the issue, the Welkom Wagon blasts a shot at the diseased Klingon, killing him, and commands, "Proceed!" Is it sick that I found that really funny?
Reed resentfully establishes a secure comm-link and contacts Paunchy PVC. "You told me Klingons were going to rendezvous with that freighter, not destroy it!" Reed accuses. Paunchy PVC "regrets" what happened and says, "But they had to cover their tracks." Paunchy PVC won't tell him how many were on board the freighter, and asks if he's analyzed the weapons signatures yet. Reed has, and he's kept the info from Quantum, but he doesn't know how much longer he can keep it that way. Because he talks in his sleep. Paunchy PVC says that Orion raiders have been known to operate in that area. "You want me to lie again?" Reed blusters. Did anyone think to give Reed the handbook on "How to Be a Spy"? Reed pleads that he could explain the situation to the captain. Paunchy PVC snorts, "You have a peculiar sense of humor, Lieutenant." Reed says Quantum's an honorable man and they can trust him, which makes me wonder what ship Reed's been serving on these past four years. Paunchy PVC says that Quantum would just tattle to Admiral Gardner and that they would launch an investigation. "I'm being compromised, sir, and I don't like it!" Reed whines. Paunchy PVC suggests he adjust his comfort level: "You made a commitment to us long before you joined the Enterprise." The ship shakes, and Hoshi calls all hands to battle stations. Paunchy PVC asks what's going on. Reed thinks they're under attack, and hangs up.