Episode Report Card Demian: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Rebitched
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.22.2005
Previously on Charmed, the last four weeks. But not necessarily in that order. Or so they would have us believe.
Currently on Charmed, Raige flips a map down on the table up in the nonexistent attic, narrating, "Okay, three dead innocents in three weeks, all near Memorial Hospital," and if they were all near Memorial Hospital, you've severely mismarked the map, you moron. The three little red dots she's applied to the thing, you see, arc around The California Pacific Medical Center Davies Campus, with one on Sanchez Street at 15th, one on Alpine Terrace at 14th, and the third on Hermann Street and Steiner. This show blows even when they manage to toss out an almost non-sucky episode. In any event, The Retarded Bimbo's quite eager to go on a vanquishing tear in the general vicinity of The California Pacific Memorial Medical Center Davies Campus Hospital, but Raige shoots this idea down cold. The Retard's to survey the area for clues as to the identity of the dark demonic force responsible for the deaths, and nothing more. The Retarded Bimbo objects strenuously to this restriction, but Raige and her NIPPLES are quite firm on this point. Errm. Points? Oh, whatever. Either turn up the heat or put on a bra, you skank. The Retard won't let the matter drop, however, and gets loud about how the Glamoured Glamorous Idiots have been "holding [her] back" for weeks, suggesting in the process that perhaps Raige and her sisters would rather be battling the forces of evil themselves. Mugs McGowan vehemently denies this accusation, and once more insists that The Retard embark on a surveillance mission only and leave the vanquishing for a later point in time. The Retard's all, "Fine. WHATEVER, spaz!" and clomps over towards the stairs to exit. Raige, sucking on her teeth with her tongue, spins to watch The Retard go, but something makes her call out, "[Retard]! Empty those pockets!" The Retard feigns ignorance for a moment, in the process allowing her jaw to hang open like the dimwitted mouthbreather she truly is, before complying with Raige's command, setting three potion vials and a set of brass knuckles down on the desk near the door while pouting, "You guys are so not fun." With that, she vanishes down the stairs, leaving The Lippy Spastic alone to twitch about wordlessly in the center of the nonexistent room like she's Michael J. Fox on crank.