Episode Report Card Wing Chun: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Go
By Wing Chun | Season 3 | Episode 15 | Aired on 11.18.2007
Nancy's. Shane comes into the kitchen with a terrarium containing his two turtles, Franco and Warhol. This is apparently the first Nancy's ever heard of them -- even though Shane's had them for a year -- because...you guys, I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but Nancy's kind of not the world's greatest mom. Shane reaches into a cupboard and pulls out a battered waffle iron box. Nancy wearily tells him that a waffle iron isn't a crucial item to bring to the rec center, but he tells her the box contains important papers. Nancy smiles, remembering that it's Judah's Earthquake Box. Shane says that Judah reminded him about it that morning, and Nancy distractedly tells him to thank Judah for her. Shane whines that Judah doesn't want to leave, and Nancy tries flippant, saying it's a good thing that Judah can't burn, then, but since they can, they should get out. They natter back and forth about it until finally Nancy has Shane point her in the direction of "Judah" so that she can sternly explain to her late husband that they need to go, and asks him to back her up. When "Judah" won't, Nancy leans seriously into Shane's face and insists that they really need to leave; Shane just looks delighted that Nancy is going along with his new routine, and agrees to go pack the car. As he heads off, Andy enters with a laundry basket full of weed, pointing out that people at the rec centre will be bummed out and will probably welcome a chance to smoke their troubles away. I mean, smoke them with a small, contained blaze. Shane asks to go get his seedlings from the grow house, but Nancy refuses, saying she'll go instead. Oh, I'll bet she will. Danger sex!
News report. Mmm, mesquite! Shane's watching it on a big TV in the rec centre. Andy, Silas, and Tara head out to try to make some sales as Doug wanders the aisles of cots, accompanying his inappropriate though Greek chorus-ish crooning on his banjo. Who knew Doug had such great fingering? I mean, other than Celia.
Conrad's tuning in the news on a radio at the grow house when Nancy enters, asking with mild passive-aggression whether his phone is broken. Conrad tells her how he was trying to pack up. Nancy tells him how crazy it was out there. He asks whether she should even be there, and she admits that she had to sneak under a barricade, but promised to go back for Silas's strain. She kind of loiters in the doorway as she pointedly says that she wanted to check and see if there was anything else she could take with her, but Conrad either misses her meaning or ignores it, handing her a garbage bag and telling her to grab what she can -- and not to dole it out too quickly, because it's probably all the product she'll have for a while. "Wildfires," he adds, sighing. "Guillermo fires," Nancy corrects him absently. This is evidently the first Conrad's heard of the fire's actual cause, and Nancy says she doesn't think he intended the fires to spread so far. Conrad says something to the effect that you can't expect better when you make a deal with the devil, but he can't really back it up with much passion at the moment. "Fire, fire on the mountain," quotes Nancy. Conrad looks at her blankly. Nancy: "Grateful Dead?" Uh, no, the reference isn't in Conrad's pop-cultural arsenal because he isn't white. Or a tool. However, this instance of his and Nancy's lack of commonality moves him to ask whether she can cook a turkey. Amused by the out-of-left-field nature of the question, Nancy says she can buy a turkey. Conrad tells her about Heylia's great turkey, which she deep-fries. Nancy nicely says she probably wouldn't go that way, but suggests that she could try cooking a turkey in the microwave. Jesus, you people. Just go out for dinner, who cares! Finally, Conrad squats on the floor with Nancy and asks, "What are you gonna do? If it all burns down -- your house, your suburb." Nancy takes a long moment, and then smiles sadly: "I guess I'd have to go." You might as well -- property values would be in the shitter even if you didn't.