Episode Report Card Sara M: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Gang's All Here
By Sara M | Season 2 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.02.1997
Pop-rock music plays as Lucy and her friends walk around the mall for a while. Sounds like something interesting is going to happen, what with all this build-up! They go into the bathroom, and the scene ends. If this were a good show, I would probably feel unfulfilled at this anticlimax. But all I feel is bored.
I laugh heartily as Simon and RevCam discuss Matt and his "slick ways" of getting secrets out of people. "Slick ways"? Only if said ways are connected to his hair. RevCam says Matt did the right thing and Simon shouldn't be mad at him. RevCam then finds a way to state this episode's theme about parents having to trust their children to do the right thing. Simon leaves, and Annie comes in. She's wearing a horrible faux-denim dress. Like, it's not even real denim; it's just supposed to look like it. As bad as the sailor top? No, but getting too close for comfort. RevCam says that he's going off-camera to talk to Sergeant Michaels about the gang, and then he'll see Stan's parents on-camera. Once again he hammers in the message of the show by saying that "you just never know what your kids are up to when you're not around."
Trivia tip, care of ABC Family network: 25 percent of women say that money makes a man more attractive, especially when the money is being spent on them. Yes, facts that make a quarter of my gender look like shallow gold-diggers are an excellent way to portray women to any children who may be watching. Although this really isn't any worse than some of the stuff they say on the 700 Club, which is also shown on this channel, so I'll stop complaining...
...but not for long! An exterior shot of the mall shows that there's no way it could be eight floors high. Lucy lied to us all. Music Of Dismay At What Kids Do When Their Parents Aren't In Their Faces Every Damn Second Of The Day plays as Lucy and friends exit the bathroom dressed like what I can only describe as prostitute drag queens. I mean not just prostitutes and not just drag queens, but that small part of the population who serve as both. Yes, the outfits are that tacky. One of them is wearing a short lacey white off-the-shoulder dress, and a brown coat with froofy white fur on the cuffs and neck. The other is wearing a tie-dyed cow-print dress with, like, a fishnet bodysuit over it, and high black boots. Lucy is wearing a short black skirt and a bare midriff, all covered with a weird translucent purple coat thing with black fur trim. Lucy's friends are both wearing bright red lipstick, and Cow Print is also wearing hot pink eye shadow. Lucy, while choosing a nice conservative lipstick color, has unwisely applied orange blush. Okay, I certainly was no fashion maven when I was their age, but I would never, ever, ever have done something like this to myself on purpose. I don't even know where one can buy a tie-dyed cow-print dress. The three synchronize their watches so they can be back at the bathroom and changed by the time their parents pick them up. Then they go off together, thus rendering the process of synchronizing watches a complete waste of everyone's time.