Episode Report Card Keckler: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT In Sonar, No One Can Hear You. Period.
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.11.2004
Phlox smiles down at a turtle in a tank that doesn't seem to be very alive. He must be thinking about lunch. Trip enters and says he's having trouble sleeping. He invites Phlox to come with him to a newly reopened section of the Mess for a snack, and repeats the information that the Xindi postponed the Mega Maid launch. "You make that sound like, uh, bad news," Phlox observes. "Ever since the attack on Earth, all I've thought about getting back at whoever was responsible," Trip notes. "And now we're making peace with them," Phlox finishes. Trip admits he's gotten used to the anger, and it's going to be like losing an old friend. Phlox reminds him he has other friends. Seriously, Trip? As far as you all know, you just saved Earth -- lighten up, bub! Trip wants to know if it's his imagination or has Phlox lost weight. Phlox chuckles that he was hoping someone would notice. "Yeah, I'm not the only one -- Hoshi commented on it last week," Trip says, and wants to know his secret. "The Nexian tapeworm. It attaches itself to the lower intestinal tract and absorbs nutrients --" Phlox explains. Wait, it absorbs nutrients? That can't be that healthy, since that would mean your body isn't getting anything from them. That's as dumb as a diet that says fruits and vegetables are bad! Plus, it's also clearly a diet in which you aren't even taking responsibility for your own health -- you're relying on a tapeworm to do it. Smaller portions, America! Smaller portions! Trip freaks out that Phlox has a worm inside him, but Phlox assures him it's harmless. "How're you gonna git it out?" Trip demands. Trip, where have you been? It was a three-day Today Show special! "Well, I'll insert a standard B-probe into my --" Phlox starts. "Nuh-nuh-no!" Trip interrupts. "Never mind." "It's a simple procedure," Phlox assures him. "I'm sure it is, Doc, I just don' wanna lose my appy-tite," Trip says.
Quantum's Quarters. Porthos snuggles on the bed and looks up when the computer beeps. A shirtless Quantum wipes his mouth -- was he drooling? -- before getting up. Mr. Man tells Quantum that Degra was murdered, stabbed! Quantum sits carefully down and spits out, "Who did this?!" If you don't stop with the excessive spitting, you're going to get dehydrated, Quantum. Mr. Man says that the Snake Eyes have called an emergency meeting of the Round Table, and he believes their recent support of not launching Mega Maid was a ruse. A ruse, I tell you! Dem your eyes! Dem your britches! And dem the Scarlet Pimpernel! Mr. Man says that Enterprise is in danger. "Keep me apprised," Quantum says, and hangs up. No "I'm so sorry for your loss"? No "Thanks for the warning, let me know if I can do anything to assist you in this time of your bereavement"? He doesn't even ask about where he can send flowers or make a donation to the Society of Wayward Hair Plugs! Ass. Quantum orders a tactical alert.