Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Officer, we're not with him
By Miss Alli | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 08.23.2004
As Colin and Christie zip along in their cab, they are approached from behind by Linda and Karen's cab. So maybe they're not zipping all that much. Linda gloats happily about approaching Colin. "Okay, I'm not paying if they pass us," Colin says to his driver. Yeah. Except that you've already made the deal and accepted the service. At this point, you've got no argument. Indeed, in keeping with Chip's theory about what you put out and what you get back, Colin gets a big old face full of karmic blowback as Linda and Karen whiz right by him. He shakes his head. Intensely, of course. Is there any other way? What's more, Brandon and Nicole are only a couple of minutes behind, and before you know it, they pass Colin and Christie as well. So I think their driver really was, for reasons that will become clear, not able to go at full speed. Brandon happily notes that he and Nicole have made it into third place. Colin is not so excited about this turn of events. "You drive slower than my grandma," Colin spits at the driver. Of all the people who are going to enjoy watching this episode, I guess Colin's grandma is officially at the bottom of the list. Because he just insulted her, and also, she's related to him, and...really not a big week for family pride. In fact, it just might be a week to put a bag over your head when you go to Meatloaf Night at the retirement village. Just saying. Christie narrates sadly that they've been passed by two teams now, so they're in next to last place. Behind them, the Twinkies look...confused. Chip tells his driver that they just want to make the first charter, while Linda notes that "the pack's really close." Brandon says that he and Nicole are just trying to make the second charter instead of the third. The Bowling Moms get a taste of their own medicine when Brandon and Nicole pass them just like they passed Colin and Christie.
Speaking of Colin and Christie, their cab drifts over to the side of the road and stops. It seems that it has a blown tire. Colin paces angrily, but he hasn't even seen the worst of it, because when he goes to help the guy get the spare tire, he learns that there is no spare tire -- the spare tire is the one that busted. "We're driving with a donut on the front of the car," he snaps back at the driver. "Very bad!" Colin sees a car approaching and flags it down. And what do you know, it turns out to be the Twinkies. Colin tells them that his guy needs to borrow their spare tire, and they get out and obligingly allow the plan to proceed. One of them notes, though, that Colin never thanked them or acknowledged the fact that they had helped him out. It's sad to realize that failure to apologize is going to fall to the third page or so of Colin's list of socially inept behaviors by the end of the episode. It might even be in the footnotes. The Twinkies also hypothesize that in a similar situation, Colin wouldn't have pulled over for them. And I agree. Colin helps the driver change the flat while Christie waits unhappily in the car. I'm getting kind of tired of how much that's the theme of the season -- guys pacing while their girlfriends gaze miserably out of windows. Less girlish inertia would be appreciated.