Episode Report Card Jessica: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Appetite For Destruction
By Jessica | Season 5 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.18.2001
Kitchen. Joey washes one dish over and over. Dawson, standing by the sink, cracks that Grams is sure going to be happy that Joey's rubbed the pattern off her bowl. Joey puts the crockery down. He tells her that she doesn't have to pretend that she's fine. "Do you miss me?" Joey asks suddenly. "Do you miss being around me?" Dawson responds that of course he does. Joey sits at the kitchen table and tells him that she can't stop thinking about how their lives don't happen together anymore. "I think some part of you won't forgive me for changing the future," she says. But Dawson reminds her that he's the one who changed the future. "How did I go from being on the corner of possibility to being nothing at all?" Joey asks. And Dawson tells her, of course, that she's not nothing at all. She'll never be nothing. "I wish…I wish I could give you an explanation," he begins, and Joey interrupts to tell him that she doesn't want an explanation because Dawson thinks she deserves it; she just wants him to want to tell her. "Something shifted when [the Flash] died," Dawson begins. "Something was lost. And, uh, part of me, the part of me that was still hopeful, thought that you and I could be on hold, but…blah blah…path…blah blah sense blah blah blah I couldn't breathe, yada yada yada." Apparently, when Dawson and Jen got out of town, "it was like starting over." Joey asks if it would have been different if she'd gone with him to Hooksett. Well, duh -- he wouldn't have slept with Jen. Dawson doesn't know if he can answer that question. "When I was with Jen, I was me. Just me." For the first time in a long time, he wasn't censoring himself. "You can't be yourself around me?" Joey asks, all hurty-eyed. "Joey, it hurts to be around you," Dawson tells her. Seeing her reminds him of "his past life." And he cares about her, but he can't bear to be around her. "I can't go back. It just hurts," he says. Joey nods, tight-lipped. Good job from both of the actors there. Yeah, you heard me: the Beek did a good job there. Who says I don't give credit where credit's due?
Dessert time! It's chocolate. Much cooing over the cake ensues. Joey mispronounces "espresso." Pacey promises that their next dinner will go more smoothly. Everyone's all, "next time?" "You don't stop riding a bike just because you smash into a tree," Pacey says. Joey looks around the table and suggests that, actually, they all take a break from each other. "How did we get here?" she asks. They're drifting apart, she says, despite their best efforts. Pacey corrects her, saying that the occasional cup of java doesn't constitute much of an effort. Speaking of java, Dawson hands Jen her cup of coffee. She sets it down for a moment, then looks over to see Jack pouring the cream into it. They smile at each other. Dawson says that it's natural to drift apart. "We're not in high school anymore," he sighs. Audrey looks around the table, then asks the group if they have any idea how lucky they all are. She can't name two people she knew when she was fifteen that she still speaks to. And none of them can cook. And they're all on drugs. Joey guesses that it is "a lot to expect" that they all stay the same. "We're all still sitting here. Must be something worth sticking around for," Joey agrees. "Yeah, the dessert," Audrey cracks. "Oh, and the lifelong friendships," she adds, offhandedly. Everyone toasts their coffee to the whole lifelong-friendships hoo-ha. Mid-toast, Grams comes into the dining room, taking off her cardigan. Audrey leaps up from the table. "This is the Grams!" she says, hugging her. "You're kind of a lot cooler than I thought you'd be," she says. "I do seem to get that quite a bit," Grams says dryly. Joey introduces Audrey. "Your reputation has preceded you," Grams tells her. "Well, it usually does," Audrey says. Grams tells the kids that it's nice to see their little reunion, but she's going to bed. Jack gets up from the table, admitting that he's got people to meet out on the town. And Joey has to study. And Audrey's going with her. "Pacey, always a pleasure," she says. "You can make me a tart anytime." Pacey grins. "Be careful what you wish for," he purrs. Audrey grins: "Okay, you got that one for free." Jack and Jen and Dawson agree to meet for breakfast the next morning; Joey thanks Pacey for dinner and tells the other people to take care, and then books. Dawson and Jen stare at each other.