Episode Report Card Kim: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cheating
By Kim | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.02.1998
"Drive" by R.E.M. plays as we see Ben sitting in a bar, looking very angry. Cut to Ben walking into the dorm and knocking on Felicity's door. When she answers, he asks whether she's talked to Regalsky yet. She admits that she hasn't, and he tells her not to, because he's going to take care of it himself. Ben asks Felicity for the essay. Felicity slowly turns to get the disk. She asks him what she's going to do. Ben says he's going to say that he wrote it. Felicity doesn't think that's a good idea. Ben responds, "I don't care what you think. I don't want your advice and I don't want your help." Felicity points out that it's her fault, but Ben says it's not, because he trusted her to turn in his essay. Ben leaves.
Ben reads the essay in his loft as it rains outside and Michael Stipe sings. Ben tosses the essay onto the table and puts his head in his hands.
Knoll meets with some sort of dean; he looks and talks like James Earl Jones, so I'm going to call him DJEJ from now on. DJEJ says that cheating is serious business, and asks Knoll whether he ever goes on the internet. Knoll says that he has his own web page, like DJEJ cares. Also, Knoll's website would benefit from some usability testing. I'm just saying. ["Wow, it's even worse now than the last time I visited it! Flash sites are such a bad idea. Er. Anyway. (God, we're geeks.)" -- Wing Chun] DJEJ tells Knoll that you can purchase term papers on the web. Knoll nervously explains that "this person who is concerned with cheating" wants to know what the process is. DJEJ replies that cheating of any kind is unacceptable, and Knoll butt-kissingly agrees. DJEJ tells Knoll that a quarter of all graduating seniors acknowledge some kind of academic impropriety, and DJEJ wants that percentage to change. Knoll mumbles something, like, shut up already, Knoll! You're just making it worse. DJEJ wants the name of the person Knoll is talking about, but Knoll says he's not comfortable giving up that information. DJEJ asks whether it's one of Knoll's advisees; Knoll lies that it isn't, but explains that it's a friend who's concerned about another friend. DJEJ states that sometimes you have to "step up and take your medicine." Knoll wants to know why DJEJ is telling Knoll that. DJEJ suggests that Knoll tell the friend that if he or she gets caught, DJEJ will make an example of that person. Good one, Knoll.
Knoll tells Felicity that it's a disaster, and that Ben will have to face a tribunal. Knoll explains that if Felicity admits that she wrote it, even if she admits why she did it, both she and Ben will get in trouble. If Ben says that he wrote it, he'll get grilled by a tribunal. Felicity agrees that it is a disaster. Knoll says that Felicity has to talk Ben out of it, but Felicity thinks that Ben hates her guts. Knoll says that he would, too, sort of, which Felicity already knows. Knoll advises Felicity to get someone else to talk to Ben, someone to whom Ben will listen. Felicity looks at Knoll imploringly, and Knoll adds, "Someone who's not me." Felicity begs Knoll to do it.