Episode Report Card Sara M: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Sandy Show
By Sara M | Season 18 | Episode 1 | Aired on 02.12.2009
After the credits, the truck rolls to a stop and Probst asks if the teams are ready to begin. They are. Probst explains that the truck is loaded with supplies that will make their lives easier. They have sixty seconds to grab as much as they can. The players scramble to strip the truck of anything and everything it has, including a cookware set and a bunch of bananas. No one tries to take the truck itself. I would have. When their time is up, it looks like the contestants have grabbed just about everything. The tribes assemble with their items and Probst asks Douche for his first impressions. Since Douche is saying this in front of everyone and not in a private confessional, he says positive things about how his tribe pulled together well, taking all the water and beans for themselves. Probst turns to the red tribe (I think they're called Jalapeño? Enh, close enough) and rubs it in that they managed to miss both the food and the water. But they got plenty of gourds and hay, from the looks of the pile at their feet, so they're a sure bet to win the Who Can Make The Best Hayride challenge. "We'll be all right. We'll make do," Spencer responds, not looking so sure.
Probst reminds the players that it's hot outside -- over a hundred degrees and it's still early in the day. He tosses maps and compasses to the tribes to find their new campsites and informs them that they're a four-hour walk away. Everyone seems to agree that that sucks, although I'll bet the Jalapeños aren't feeling quite so bad about missing out on the heavy water jugs and bags of beans now. And then things get even worse, as Probst says they're going to have their first vote right now. Each tribe will vote out one member who "is not gonna make this journey." The producers just can't give Douche enough airtime as he interviews that the game is already on and he's looking forward to playing hard. Then he says the titular line about getting rid of the weak players immediately. I hope the fact that he's getting so much camera time already is an indicator of his early departure, preferably in the next five minutes.
The contestants are given scraps of paper and pens and vote out in the open. "First impressions go a long way in this game," Prost says. He'd better hope not -- my first impression of Probst way back when was that he was a cheesy hack with little to no talent. He's since proved himself somewhat and my opinion of him has improved. A black man looks nervous, but he shouldn't. In this vote, all black players are safe because no one wants to be the asshole who writes "the black guy" on his scrap of paper. Then it's time to reveal the votes! Mactor 1 voted for "Grammy," a.k.a. Sandy. Mactor 1 is an asshole. You're already voting her off, do you really have to insult her at the same time? I mean, "Grammy?" Sandy's 53, not 85. Dick. Even worse, Probst asks him to clarify who he means. "The older lady," Mactor 1 says. Looking pained, Taj gives Sandy another vote. Taj rules because she was in SWV (Sisters With Voices) back in the day. Then Stephen gets a vote. Ha! Good. But then Spencer gives Sandy a third vote, and she's starting to look really worried. Spencer also knows Sandy's real name even though they aren't supposed to have ever met before. SUSPICIOUS. Carolina also votes for Sandy, with her vote reading "=( The Older Lady =( P.S. I am sorry." Stephen also votes for Sandy. That's five votes, which is the majority. Sandy looks devastated as she takes her place next to Probst. He asks her how she feels about this. Not good, Sandy says. "I'm PISSED. I'm SO PISSED!" she says. And she's pretty sure she could've handled the heat better than some of the younger players, who will probably quit. Dude, Sandy better not actually be kicked off already.