Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Spawn to the Rescue!
By M. Giant | Season 7 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.18.2009
The two med techs undo Kiefer's restraints, unaware that he's just opened his eyes. Suddenly, he's elbowing and kicking in all directions, sending them sprawling. With his cuffed hands, he manages to get a hold of a handy scalpel off the tray, and two throats are quickly slashed. As for the doc, when he tries to escape, Kiefer loops the handcuff chain around his neck from behind and snaps his neck, although the dude is really bad at fake-dying. Seriously, he not only turns his head a maximum of three degrees, he also fails to go limp instantly, instead taking his time to get comfortable. I hope he's a really good doctor, because he sucks at the rest of his job. Kiefer struggles to his feet and makes his way through the warehouse, all the way to an exit door, where two shocks greet him. The first is a door alarm, and the second is the full, bright sunlight of daytime. He stares up at it in confusion for a moment, wondering how the sun came all the way up in just the last five minutes. Must be spring-loaded.
In other splitscreen windows, Aaron loiters in the Oval Office while briefing sheets are handed out to Taylor, Olivia, and Tim. A medic bandages Kim's arm, the smitten actor playing the EMT cursing his luck for having to wear sterile rubber gloves on the one day of his life he gets to grope Elisha Cuthbert. Walker looks on, presumably so he doesn't offer to give her a pelvic. Wilson...uh...wears glasses.
And Tony and the Faux-yer come running, to find their medical staff dead and Kiefer gone. They find the open exit and go out that way. "He's too weak to have gotten very far," Tony says, because that's what you say in these situations, and they split up in pursuit. It's 7:00:00.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.Discuss this episode in the 24 forums, and take a look back at the most ludicrous 24 plotlines ever!