Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT For The Birds
By M. Giant | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.25.2007
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Now that the kids' survival is ensured, that of Bonanza City's chicken population is considerably less certain. Nine-year-old future PETA activist Emilie isn't taking it well, going so far as to blockade herself in the chicken coop -- twice. Still, it's decided that two of the little birdies will die for thirty-nine servings of delicious chicken noodle soup. Greg steps up to lead the slaughtering and butchering, in a naked play for this week's Gold Star.
The next day's issue is the literal freezing cold, which solidifies the water in the pump -- and the Yellow District in their bunkhouse, instead of in the kitchen where they belong. This will continue to be an issue throughout the episode, as will Emilie's deliberation over whether she can stay in Bonanza City where all the chicken-killing is going on, or if she'll simply have to return home to her parents' farm.
And we learn that the Districts will have a showdown every week, giving them a chance to swap classes. This week's very complicated challenge involves a lot of pipe-laying and blowing, but not in any sense that shouldn't involve eight-year-olds. When it's over, Blue gets to take over as the Upper Class, with Red winning second and becoming the Merchant class. That means it's once again a battle for last place between Yellow and Green, and once again Green flubs it. But unlike last week, this time they don't even manage to win the town its reward -- a giant heated water slide and freeze-proof water pumps to be installed all over town. Yeah, that last thing would have been nice, especially for the Green team.
Greg's campaign for a Gold Star is pretty transparent, and the Council is split between him and Michael, who continues to impress. Then it's time for the Town Council meeting. Nobody goes home, not even Emilie, which means there are still thirty-nine kids. Sophia -- and almost everyone else -- calls out Taylor and the Yellow District for their sucky kitchen habits. And then the Gold Star goes to Michael. Greg doesn't take well to being passed over, and threatens that he's going to "do something about it." What that is, we won't find out until next week. Although the previews for next week don't put him in a very good light. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
At over three minutes, the previouslies are kind of long for a show that's only on its second episode. I guess they have to bring us up to speed on all the stuff we missed during pee breaks last week because there were no damn commercials.
It's Day 5, and the Yellow team is collecting eggs from the chicken coop. We learn that the town is the proud owner of 18 chickens -- for now (spoiler!). There's a moment where everyone wants to touch an egg that's still warm from the chicken's egg-chute, but the kid holding it is all overprotective of it, to the point where I'm sure he's going to "protect" it into a crackly, slimy mess. Taylor interviews about how handy it is that so many of the kids come from farms, and we meet Emilie of the Red District, who is nine years old and from Nevada. She tells us that her parents have ten acres, and she claims that she breaks wild mustangs. She…does? I again refer you to the fact that she is nine. Perhaps she uses psychology.
It's time for the Town Council to have some quality time in the chapel with the old "Pioneer Journal." The journal's anonymous writer, who was totally an actual nineteenth-century prospector who lived in the real Bonanza City and not some CBS production assistant who happens to write in extremely large and even calligraphy while using the past tense, commiserates with them over their limited diet. The journal asks, "You brought chickens with you, right?" That sounds a bit anachronistic. I wish Al Swearengen had written the Pioneer Journal: "From the fact that you sawed-off hoopleheads managed to scrape up the fuckin' wherewithal to tote your sorry carcasses to this accursed shithole, one assumes you arranged for some avian fuckin' companionship. Is that not so, you stunted little cocksuckers?" The Council members read that chickens can produce more food than just eggs, if you know what the Pioneer Journal means. And just in case you don't, it now asks, "Do you want to serve them up for dinner?" The Council exchanges horrified looks. Alarmed Mike! Alarmed Taylor! Alarmed Laurel! Very alarmed chicken! Hee.
Back from commercial, Sophia -- who just can't stay away from the kitchen, even though it's officially not her gig any more -- sums up the menu thusly: "All we have is what you can can, and that's kind of disgusting." She gives us a little tour of the stores, which include giant tins of corn, tomatoes, tomato juice, baked beans, and apples. Canned apples? Funny, I call that "pie filling."