Episode Report Card Sara M: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Women Are Useless And/Or Bitchy
By Sara M | Season 22 | Episode 5 | Aired on 03.16.2011
While Mike would rather see Stephanie the challenge loser go home first, Julie and Sarita discuss voting Krista out first, saying she's totally useless while they might be able to "work on" Stephanie if given enough time. Hmm!! Sounds like the women of Zapato are thinking of going in on a female alliance, which seems like a fine idea to me, since the men in their tribe are assholes like David and Ralph and possibly Steve. Sarita says she'd rather see David go home before anyone else, since she doesn't trust his lawyerly ways. But she knows that's not happening, so it's between Krista and Stephanie. Krista and Stephanie, for their part, decide not to do or say anything to save themselves, as the tribe is full of "dumb-asses," and so it's pointless. Stephanie mutters that Steve is the biggest liability in the tribe, as he does nothing around camp and "is not a good athlete." Right, except for those thirteen years where he was a professional athlete. Krista says they'll just have to hope they do well on Redemption Island and get back in the game, since their tribemates "aren't playing the game." She interviews that her tribe is too locked into their alliance and refusal to play strategically to consider voting out one of their alliance instead of one of the two women who are clearly plotting against them and would never in a million years side with them when the merge happens and have made that pretty freaking obvious.
Zapato arrive at Tribal. Probst takes all of two seconds before invoking the name of Li'l Russell, saying at their last Tribal, when he was VOTED OUT, Krista and Stephanie appeared to be in an alliance with him. He asks if that's still the case. Krista says it is -- she and Stephanie are in an alliance with a guy who isn't even in this game anymore, because they are just that good at playing this game. Krista criticizes her tribe for their lack of "game-playing" since Li'l Russell left, saying this is like camping with the Brady Bunch. I wonder who she got that line from -- Li'l Russell maybe? She certainly didn't come up with it herself.
Probst asks Sarita to weigh in on Krista's words. Sarita says she disagrees, pointing out that they did enough game-playing to vote Li'l Russell out. Krista says sticking with your alliance of six isn't good gameplay. Yes, it's a much better idea to be in an alliance of three against an alliance of six, especially when one of those three has already been voted out. That is a solid plan. Krista says that eventually, the alliance of six will be all that's left, and then they'll have to play the game. Well, yeah. Duh. And at that point, you've made it into the top six, so that's awesome. While Mike and Sarita straight-up laugh at her, Krista says she didn't come here to make friends -- she came to play! By making friends with Stephanie and then doing absolutely nothing to save herself. Mike finally speaks up and says that for all of Krista's talk about gameplay, she hasn't done much of it herself -- she hasn't tried to play the game with her tribemates or even tried to reach out to anyone or build any trust. "You've been abrasive this entire time to everybody. That was your strategy," Mike says. Thank you, Mike. You speak the truth. Krista says there wasn't anything she could really say other than encourage the others to vote Stephanie out before her. Mike says it's not about scrambling at the last minute on the beach -- Krista had thirteen days to try to talk to her tribemates and form some kind of bond.