Episode Report Card Pamie: A | 1 USERS: D YOU GRADE IT The Safety Dance
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.20.2004
Now we're back at the end of Season 4, where Lorelai busts Rory and CuteDean. Rory says that CuteDean came over to borrow something. CuteDean mumbles that he got it, and thanks her, and then leaves. This time we watch CuteDean listen to the fight Rory and Lorelai get into, about how CuteDean is married and this isn't the glorious, wonderful, rainbow-filled moment Rory seems to think it is. CuteDean ducks away before Rory stomps out of the house.
Rory stomps out of her house, putting on her coat. She tries to call CuteDean, but Lindsay answers, because CuteDean is not very good at sneaking around on his wife (So stop emailing me, telling me she was calling Lane. I told you that girl thinks of Lane absolutely last.) Rory flops onto the front steps and cries. Lorelai walks out of the house, and we merge into the last moment of Season 4. When Lorelai tries to sit and talk to her daughter, Rory pouts off, furious with her mom for not understanding how much she loves her married boyfriend. I just realized I tried on Rory's adultery dress about a month ago when I was looking for something to wear to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. No wonder I felt weird about it and took it off, even though it looked good on me. Something told me it wasn't the look I was going for.
Emily storms into her home, Richard on her heels. "You do realize you just leapt out of a moving vehicle," he says to her. Emily tells Richard she doesn't have to live according to his schedule. Richard tries scolding Emily, but she's too angry to listen. She stomps around the house, head held high, backhanding a plant that dares be in her way. As I'm laughing, Richard tells her that their feud has reached comical proportions Charlie Chaplin himself would find hilarious, "and he's dead," Richard informs some of you young 'uns. He offers to fetch Emily a cane and a derby.
In their basement, which appears to be where all things copper are kept, Emily searches for her luggage. She tosses two boxes onto the floor and Richard tells her she's making a mess. He asks who's going to clean all of this up. Emily says either she'll do it, or the maid will: "Or perhaps Pennilyn Lott can come by after one of your clandestine lunches and take a stab at it." Richard reminds his wife that Pennilynn Lott is just a friend. Emily brags that she's going to Europe, where she will have a fabulous time. She will stay in bed until 10 and have two glasses of wine with lunch. Richard: "Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch!" Emily: "Well, then buy me a boa and fly me to Reno because I am open for business!" I just snorted in a coffee shop. This is the downside to recapping on your laptop in public. ["Also, if that's the standard, my grandma is a hooker." -- Wing Chun] Richard says he's going to bed; Emily says she's going to France. There's a moment of silence for us to applaud the title "written and directed by Amy Sherman-Palladino." Emily struggles with her giant trunk up the stairs, only to find that the door is locked. Emily calls for Richard to help her, but he's busy listening to classical music on eleven. Emily drops the suitcase and stomps back into the basement. She wanders around her storage room, which is the size of my house, deciding what to do. She finds a window. She climbs up and opens it, calling to her husband. Wow, it's easy to break into the Gilmore home. There isn't even a screen on that thing. Richard hears his wife calling to him, and accuses Emily of lying about being locked downstairs. Emily says he locked her in, but Richard says that the door must be jammed. He tells her to try jiggling the knob. Emily's fixing to jiggle his head. Richard asks for a moment, which Emily doesn't have. She threatens to climb out the window, and then decides to do just that, mostly because he keeps telling her not to. As Richard opens the basement door, he finds his wife has taken off her skirt (it caught on the window), and shimmied out the window, ass first. Richard runs after her, telling her to get down. "No!" Emily shouts. She's going to get a run in those nice hose. Richard balls up Emily's skirt and heads upstairs to fetch his crazy wife. Must be a Gilmore thing, sneaking out of windows.