Episode Report Card Pamie: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Wet Teens! Wet Teens!
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.21.2002
Independence Inn. Michel is carrying two pillows to the front desk. Lorelai coos, "Oh! Is it your nap time?" Michel informs Lorelai that a guest complained about the down pillows, which trap allergens and germs. The guest read about the toxic pillows in the travel brochure they provide in the rooms. Down pillows, apparently, can trap viruses and mold. Lorelai comments that she never thought anyone read those brochures. Michel says that the woman had no choice, since there was a roast chicken on the cover. "She's large," he says. "And her husband is ugly," he adds after Lorelai scolds him. "They threw pillows at me!" he whines.
The phone rings and Lorelai answers, "Independence Inn." It's Emily, trimming her bush (Dirty!), already scolding Lorelai for not identifying herself when she answers the phone. Lorelai tries it again: "Independence Inn! Major disappointment speaking." Emily says that she's in charge of the Society Matrons League's annual Antique Auction, and she thought that Lorelai might like to attend the auction to pick up cute pieces for the Inn. This prompts Lorelai's teasing concerning the serious, old-lady-sounding name of the group. I wonder why Kelly Bishop's eyes are always rolling around in her head when she talks on the telephone, as if there's never a good place for her to rest her eyes. Do you think she's sneaking looks at some kind of teleprompter? Emily makes a joke that they're auctioning off old-lady paraphernalia, like walkers and canes. Emily adds that she'll be way too busy to sit next to Lorelai, if that was one of Lorelai's concerns. Lorelai says she wasn't concerned about it, but would still like a definition of "way too busy." The auction is Tuesday at 1 PM. Lorelai says she'll think about it, so Emily says she'll see her Tuesday.
Michel has overheard this somehow, and really, really, really wants to go to the auction. He loves auctions -- the drama, the strategy. He gives Lorelai a few pointers, including, "Be extremely careful of your paddle movement." Lorelai: "Well! That certainly calls for a, 'Dirty!'" "Take me to the auction!" Michel begs and whines. "Take me! I insist you take me!" He says that if Emily's involved, he knows it'll be an impeccable auction, and that he hasn't been to an impeccable auction in over a year. Lorelai makes him promise to work weekends for the rest of the month, answer the phone in English when it rings, and oversee the Nature Hikers next week, including allowing them to give him a Nature Name. Michel agrees, so Lorelai says he can come to the auction. "Buttercup," she says. Fists clenched, face pinched, Michel screeches, "You cannot give them suggestions!"