Episode Report Card Sobell: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sarah, Plain And Tall
By Sobell | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.07.2007
Down in the bowels of Sona, Lechero's down there with two of his flunkies. The one whose hair so offended me last episode -- Bad Hair Guy, with the half-shaved scalp and the long hair -- explains that when the system's overloaded, simply throwing the switch won't work. Lechero tells him to fix it. Bad Hair Guy replies, "I'm a truck driver." Lechero's left wearing a look like Why are all my flunkies STUPID?
Back in the cells, Bellick's just approached Mahone -- scaring the hell out of the jumpy former agent -- and asks guilelessly, "I just wanted to see how you're holding up in here." "Just dandy," spits Mahone. Bellick chortles, "I was having a tough time of it myself. I figured it shouldn't be that way for us, seeing as how we're the only two lawmen here in Taco Hell." Hey -- why not scream a little louder about being on the other side of the law? I'm sure a few inmates didn't hear you. Bellick keeps trailing Mahone, who is searching for a pen, and when Mahone snaps at him to reveal what he wants, the answer -- a black felt-tip pen -- is not what he was looking for.
We shift from the music we used to associate with Team Escarpara to the more delicate plinking that used to accompany the Sucre/Maricruz nonsense. Now it's the soundtrack for Whistler and Sofia. Be wary, you two! That music bodes ill for all to whom it's scored! Anyway, it's time for a tedious little lover's spat that basically boils down to...
Whistler: Yes, I'm in prison, and yes, it sucks, but no, I don't plan on telling you anything useful and no, I would prefer it if you didn't try to help.
Sofia: Try and stop me. Oh, wait -- YOU CAN'T. Because you're in PRISON.
Whistler: Well, if you're going to be that way...get me everything you can on Michael and Linc, would you? Now let's hold hands.
Sofia: Okay.
In the prison courtyard, Michael very casually absconds with a roll of duct tape. We see him tuck it below his shirt. We do not even get a slight flash of tattoo. I feel so cheated. Mahone comes up with a pen, but it's a ball-point one, so Michael tells him to go try again. As Michael walks off, Mahone hears Haywire hiss, "He's playing you...he's playing you. Do not trust him." Mahone looks around the courtyard and sees a bloodied Haywire lurking behind a clothesline. And you know, while one part of me is all, "Oh, how appropriate that Alec's most haunted by the one guy he talked into killing himself -- perhaps he feels a kinship with the crazy guy who was manipulated by others!" about this development? The other part of me is like, "You know Haywire's only here because they couldn't get the actors who played Abruzzi or Tweener."