Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Rumblings Of Mutiny
By Miss Alli | Season 7 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.12.2003
Opening a new chapter in his legacy of legendary big-heartedness, Rupert tells Lill that she's going to be the last Morgan to go, because she's sort of an honorary Drake. Furthermore, he makes the incredibly selfless promise that if she were to win individual immunity, he would even vote for a Drake instead of her. Wow, you mean to tell me that if the rules didn't allow him to vote for Lill, he'd vote for someone else? He's quite a humanitarian. Seriously, what kind of an offer is it for Rupert to promise that he'll take Lill to the final six? I mean, all he's saying is that Ryan-O, Darrah, and Tijuana are going to be booted ahead of her. If anything, he just hurt his own case by telling her flat-out that she's got no chance to break into his little suck-up circle. How can he be so blind as not to know she would obviously go hunting for a better deal in another alliance? He's kind of dumb, I'm telling you. A great fisherman, obviously personable -- at least to people who don't see the self-aggrandizing confessionals -- and very physically strong. But truly, the man is no strategist. When Lill laughs off Rupert's goofy remark about how he won't vote her out if she wins immunity (duh), he gives her an completely unnecessary "don't sell yourself short" speech about how important it is for her to give herself credit for standing up to Andrew. I'll tell you, there's nothing like a "don't sell yourself short" speech from someone with no respect for you at all. Inspirational! So I guess Lill should walk away from this conversation feeling so darn good about herself that she should be honored just to...you know, come in sixth. The great thing about this chat is that Rupert and Lill are both kind of dumb, which makes the whole thing feel kind of like watching two potatoes negotiate with each other. It may not be exciting, but at least it seems like a fair fight.
Now we see even more of Moody Introspective Lill, strolling on the beach and contemplating her destiny and the choices that lie ahead and the lyrics to "American Pie" and, hopefully, what to do with her hair other than tie it back in that very unflattering fashion that makes her look like her forehead goes halfway back to her collar. We see her glance meaningfully at Ryan-O, and now it's time to check in with him. He offers a voice-over about how much tribal council sucked on the night they booted Andrew. Ryan-O thus establishes that he is the only person in America who thinks booting Andrew was a sad development, as opposed to one of the greatest feats of rough justice since the Guidos got left in Alaska. Ryan-O sighs over the fact that Lill decided to jump to Drake because she was mad at Andrew. He doesn't quite get that she was actually mad at all of them, but it's a little late for him to catch on now. He adds that he and Andrew "had a tight bond." (Chicka-bamp, heh.) In his interview, Ryan-O explains that he knows he's next on the block, so things are feeling a little queasy deep in the belly of the Ryan-O.