Episode Report Card Al Lowe: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT All Dressed In...Blush?
By Al Lowe | Season 6 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.09.2006
At Mrs. Kim's antique store, Lane is getting pretty tough, as well. When a customer offers $250 for a chair, she loses it, saying that it is a chair that sat in the bedroom of James Madison and is a piece of history. The customer -- who is very distracting due to her uncanny resemblance to Joan Didion -- apologizes for offending Lane. "You didn't insult me," Lane says, neck-snappily. "You insulted the chair. And the United States of America." Joan Didion says she'll pay the $300, then, but Lane tells her to forget it: "Price just went up, flag-burner! If you want the chair, it's $350. If you don't," she continues, "please leave, because I have a lot of work to do." The lady pays and meekly asks if there is a delivery service, to which she receives a glare from Angry Lane in response. I'm sorry, lady. Lane lost her bad boyfriend and, far worse, her cute band -- which included none other than Sebastian Bach -- so she is super-mad and hating the world. If you were really Joan Didion, you could no doubt counsel her on her grief, but since you're not (or are you?), it's best now that you run away. The lady makes her escape and Mrs. Kim comments to Lane that she forgot to kick her in the pants on her way out. Lane counters that Mrs. Kim always drives a hard bargain, which is true, and that since she herself is the delivery service, she wasn't interested in telling the customer they had one, "no matter how exciting the prospect of a two-dollar tip is!" Mrs. Kim says it's too bad it's not Christmas: "That smiling face of yours would cheer up children for miles around."
Into the middle of all this raging comes Zach. Lane says that he has a lot of nerve just to walk into that place. "What are you talking about?" he says. "This is like, a place of business. Maybe I want to buy some antiques." In unison with everybody in the world, Lane gives a big "oh, RIGHT." Zach quietly notes that she is not wearing her glasses anymore, and says he's there to get one of his CDs: "You know, the one with the crazy-looking chick on it?" In extreme frustration, she says she does not have any of his CDs. He tries to go up to her room and check, but she shoves him and says that if she finds a CD with a crazy-looking chick on it, she'll mail it to him. Awesome, Lane. Stay mad! Zach tries again to get her to go upstairs with him, but she yells that she's working. "Oh, yeah," he says, "I can tell there's a real rush on ancient crap going on here." Hee. Good one, pfTL. Lane kicks him out, and rightly so, and, since she's so good at being mad, throws in an extra "you break it, you buy it" to a nearby customer.