Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Chip And Dip
By M. Giant | Season 6 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.13.2007
Back at the White House, the Veep and Karen wait in the TelePresence Suite to make the call to President Suvarov. "Let's do this," the Veep rumbles nervously, like he's about to try to tell Congress that the dog ate his daily intelligence briefing. Wayne's assistant dials the phone, and then Suvarov appears opposite them on the middle of the three giant video screens. It's like he's right there, only he's made of pixels instead of vodka. This time he's alone at his end of the call, but he doesn't seem too intimidated for that fact. The Veep goes right into the story that his agents have succeeded in stopping Cheng. "Are you saying you have the component back in your possession?" Suvarov asks. The Veep hems and haws that it was actually destroyed during the operation. Suvarov asks if the Veep has proof. The Veep babbles that yes, he certainly does. Suvarov is like, "Do you mean the same documentation you planted with one of my agents?" Oops, busted. The TelePresence suite is so amazing, people can even use it to feed you enough rope to hang yourself, right through the screen. The Veep flinches, and Karen tries to become invisible. Suvarov, pissed, explains that he's been keeping Boyfriend under surveillance, since he knew that he'd been exposed. And how did he know that? Time to start looking for a new leak. Suvarov repeats his threat from earlier that he would hold the U.S. government responsible for this breach of Russian defenses. The Veep reacts to being threatened the way he always does, which is to bristle angrily. He would probably even stand up from the conference table if he had a leg on which to do so. Suvarov says the Veep has had plenty of time to get the component back, and that if he doesn't provide proof of the chip's recovery or destruction in the next two hours, "[Suvarov] will have no choice but to extend [his] country's forward perimeter to compensate for [their] defensive vulnerabilities." And, as the Veep and the rest of us know, this means attacking a U.S. base in Centralasia, which the Veep warns is a very bad idea. Gesturing like a demented orchestra conductor trying to the lead the string section through a musical interpretation of a boxing match, Suvarov calls his next move "a matter of survival" for Russia, and reiterates the two-hour deadline before disappearing from the screen. I'm glad he's not giving the Veep three hours, because I sure would hate to have to wait until next season to find out what happens. The Veep bitches to Karen that the last three episodes of B-plot were all for nothing, a complete waste of time. And he's not the only one. "We're about to go to war over a piece of circuitry," he complains. It's 3:50:12.