Episode Report Card Erin: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Phantom of the Spy Opera
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.06.2002
Syd sets down her Grey Goose and informs Uncle Arvin that she's removing herself from active duty at SD-6 and devoting herself to the Mommy Quest. Uncle Arvin's not having any of it. Syd spits out that it's time that SD-6 took a risk on her behalf instead of the other way around. Uncle Arvin moves over and sits down next to Sydney. Ew. I mean, he's not doing anything gross, but still: EW. "A daughter has a right to know her mother," he says. Again, EW. God, he's creepy. No, that doesn't mean I don't still think he's kinda hot. But then, I have a history for being attracted to inappropriate men, so there ya go. "I hope you find her," he finishes. Jesus, so do I. I'm about ready to go out and search for that Russian bitch myself, I'm so anxious for this dumb-ass storyline to end.
Center For Weepy Guitar Solos And Storylines That Don't Matter. Willage Idiot and Francie are in the kitchen, preparing to make pancakes. Willage wants chocolate chips in the pancakes. Francie doesn't. I pick up one of the multicolored pencils that I recently stole from my freelance job, sharpen it to a needle point, shove it directly up my nose, spin it around a bit, and render myself lobotomized enough to endure the rest of this scene.
Syd enters. Blah blah blah, oh you still live here? Bling blam blooey, I know, I know, I'm sorry. Flim fling flox, how's work? La la la lamppost, wanna know about tax shelters? Sing Blue Silver, what're you up to today? Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, goin' to look for a new tux. Drool drip deluxe, a tux? For what? Gah. GAAAAAAHHHH. Shut up already. Okay. Fine. Francie sees a bruise on Syd's arm and asks how she got it. Since Syd's a world-class espionage expert, she dribbles something about how a guy on the flight back from Seattle hit her with his carry-on luggage. That's a good one, Syd. Because all carry-on luggage is sharp-edged and draws blood. She couldn't have said, maybe, that she'd engaged in some rather rough racquetball playing and injured herself in a fall? Lord.
Conference Room Of Endless Expositions. Uncle Arvin and Spy Daddy are yammering on about Kasineau, and how he's well-stocked to launch a full-out war on the rest of the spy community, when Marshall enters and blithers about how he's sorry he's late and he's also sorry that he's covered in hives. Why is he covered in hives? Because he's developing a dermal pigmentation capsule and it's not quite right and -- um, never mind. Again, why is he covered in hives? Because it's funny. Or, I should say, because it's supposed to be funny. Yeah.