Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT When did "capelets" become all the rage?
By Miss Alli | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.13.2004
Do you think little enough of the women yet? No? Well, let's return to the bedroom, where Maria is declaring how they'll be all about winning (after, you know, four consecutive losses), and Stacy says, "We're ready to be hard-core! I mean, we've been hard-core, but let's be harder-core!" Wow. If there is anything more hysterically demonstrative of a total lack of self-knowledge than a pre-attorney who looks like she's nine years old talking to a twitching buffoon in a camouflage tank top about how they're going to go and be "hard-core," I certainly have never seen it.
The moon hovers over Sixth Avenue, and then night turns to morning. And how do we greet the morning? With a shirtless Kevin stumbling out to answer the ringing phone. Score! Thanks, shirtless Kevin! And...nice, you know, hips. Rhona tells Kevin that Trump is "working" at Trump Model Management, and the teams should meet him there at 9:00 AM. Somehow, I suspect Trump logs a lot of hours at the model store. Undoubtedly, he has the yoogest models around.
In the kitchen, Maria makes a sad little pan of scrambled eggs while Chris, putting on his tie in the living room the way guys do when they think it's hot to watch them finish getting dressed, hypothesizes that perhaps the task will be greasing a bunch of models. Ew. That's not even cute. "Oh, shut up," Maria says with a little squint, trying to be all Flirtiest Girl in the Room. She haaaates when the boys are all crazy like that! We then move directly to Trump Model Management, where Trump (unsurprisingly) is personally taking an interest in reviewing some of the models at his disposal. Honestly, the jokes about Trump opening his own Wife Farm so that he won't have to go outside the corporate family in order to replace Melania when she gets saggy are so plentiful that I don't know where to begin, or even whether it's worth it. Probably not. The teams enter, and Trump makes an obvious "the men are excited about the models, heh heh" joke, which...hilarious. No, really. Hilarious. Trump welcomes them, and says that "New York City is the fashion capital of the world, by far." And, as you know by now, when Trump says "by far," that means, "kind of." (See: Milan. Paris. You know the drill.) He tells the teams that they are to produce a new clothing line to break into this $90 billion industry. (I have to say, I have a feeling that my inclination toward inexpensive sweaters means I am probably not doing my share.) They'll each choose one of a group of from "emerging" designers (read: "They designed who in the what now?"), and they'll use his models to show their clothes at the Avon Fall Fashion Show at the St. Regis Hotel. A bunch of high-end department store buyers will be there, and whichever team sells more of its stuff to the buyers will win. Trump reminds Chris of his exemption in the event his team loses, and reminds us once again that we will see the losing team in the Boardroom. Thus begins my weekly Boardroom Prayer: "Now I lay me down to sleep, please fire Stacy." (I find it's best to keep my prayers short.) ["And about the short. Yeah, I said it." -- Sars]
Maria interviews that she will be the PM for Apex, because she has a minor in home economics. I will freely admit I didn't even know you could get that anymore, and haven't ever even heard of studying home economics in college, except in one of the funniest Mystery Science Theater episodes of all time. ("It's a wonderful world when you're married, and you have a faaamilyyyy!") But that's what I get for going to a crunchy liberal arts school with an Experimental College program -- lots of people didn't know you could get college credit for studying the filmography of Winona Ryder, either, but that's only because they went to the wrong college. At any rate, Maria also claims that she's "made tailored suits." I don't know. I find Maria's taste in clothes to be a little sketchy, actually, so I'm not sure I find this all that compelling, but I won't argue. She certainly seems to wear clothes that are...carefully thought out, in the same way that poodle grooming is carefully thought out. I will leave the wisdom of both to the judgment of the ages. Elsewhere, Kevin admits that the men are a little out of their element with the women's fashion, but he's sure that if they put all their effort into it, they can do fine. It's all about the women sucking wind, you know. That's the most promising thing of all.