Episode Report Card Maggie: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Party Lines
By Maggie | Season 2 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.18.2000
Felicity and Greg are in the dorm elevator, and she's making excuses for her bad bowling, something about the holes or the balls being too big. Paging Dr. Freud. Of course, instead of saying that it didn't matter and the point was that they were out together having fun, Greg concludes that she's the world's worst bowler, She says, "If I would have found the right ball, I would have kicked your butt." No, if you had found the right ball you could have beaned him with it. Mind you, it would have had to be a pretty big ball to take down his oversized melon. Now they're off the elevator and he waggles said melon while walking over to kiss her. Felicity asks him to the dance and he accepts almost as ungraciously as Knoll by saying, "There's no one I'd rather go to a really lame school dance with than you." We get it. School dances are lame. Greg tells her that he is running for student council president and he wants her to be his campaign manager. Hold the phone! It's the lame leading the lame. There is nothing lamer on earth than student council politics. Greg, it's Geeksville USA, population: you. Felicity protests that she doesn't know anything about student government but Greg thinks she was "amazing" at the sit-in.
Felicity is back in the booth at Epstein Bar, being interviewed by Sean. Felicity rhapsodizes about Greg's many accomplishments and thinks that Ben is just jealous of him. Sean asks if the atmosphere at Dean & Deluca is tense because she has to work with Ben. She demurs and says that she doesn't let him get to her.
At Dean & Deluca, Ben, who is cleaning a counter, laughs, "What, he's running for president? What's his platform, drugs not hugs?" Felicity, who appears to doing her homework, tells him to stop because "it is getting old." Ben replies that he thinks Greg is perfect for student council. Felicity wonders what that means. Ben says, "It means, have you ever looked at a picture of the student council in the yearbook? They all look like Greg: stiff, earnest, losers." With that, Felicity gathers up her books and says, "Here's the thing about Greg; he knows what he wants and he goes after it." Ben snidely says, "Yeah, yeah. It worked with you." Felicity's high horse is double-parked, so she gets on it and says, "Make as much fun as you want, Greg has some direction in his life," then it's heigh ho, Silver, away! Ben can only manage to come up with, "Oh, unlike me, right?" Dude, you've got to do better than that if you want Felicity back. Out on the street, Ben admits to Sean and his omnipresent camcorder that Felicity is right about him not having any direction. Ben says that he's made an appointment. Sean asks whom the appointment is with and Ben doesn't answer. Instead, we're transported to Dr. Toni Pavone's office. She's telling Ben that career placement tests are tools and not guarantees and the "results suggest that [he's] best suited to be a stockbroker." Ben is surprised, to say the least. Dr. Pavone sneers, "What, you were expecting maybe male model?" Um, Dr. Pavone, have you seen Ben? That suggestion is not that off base. Ben says that he was wondering what kind of answers he gave that made him sound like a stockbroker. She lists the other choices that the results suggest. One, is teacher, which Ben discounts immediately. Two is tour guide, and three is captain of a ship. Dr. Pavone chuckles and says, "Now that would be interesting to see." Maybe she is picturing him in uniform and rethinking the male model thing. Ben decides to go with stockbroker and Dr. Pavone agrees to set up an internship for him. I don't think getting an internship is quite that easy, but what do I know about fictional American colleges?