Episode Report Card Gwen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Say A Little Prayer For Me
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 16 | Aired on 02.20.2000
The only thing worse than watching Jennifer Love-Boobit shill for Neutrogena is watching a simulation of black junk being flushed out of pores I presume to be hers.
RevCam's in bed with his non-fiction handy on the nightstand. One of the titles is Religion and Law. The letter from the little boy in distress is on top of the stack. We pan to Eric himself and see him reading A History of God, which has an interesting jacket incorporating Stars of David, crosses, and crescent moons. He looks up to see Annie enter in a blue robe that looks like a winter coat from the '50s. She removes it, hops into bed, drops a kiss on Rev, and cranks off her bedside lamp. She's ready to conk out. Eric asks if she's tired. Please don't make us see him asking for sex. Please. Annie says she loves him. She tries to go to sleep again. Eric's staring at her and she asks him to read the letter to her. The letter says that the writer's brother was shot to death at school two months before. The writer's dad started drinking after seven years of sobriety. So we're dealing with a little boy who knows about sober years, but who's too cute to know Eric's name or title. The boy's mom had to start working two jobs and he cares for his little sister. He's worried about the two of them getting shot at school. "...I'm afraid nothing's ever going to change unless people like you ask God for help for people like me," he concludes, sans signature. Throughout this reading, Annie's rudely yawning and closing her eyes to show us that she sleeps in full makeup, shimmery shadow included. Eric wonders why the boy (he's been assuming it's a boy) wrote to him. He suggests that the boy heard Eric was shot last year. Sure, RevCam. It's not because you're a minister or anything. It's all on a personal level, all about you. Annie Clouseau asks how he'd know about that unless he went to their church. RevCam says that he doesn't know a family that fits that description. I guess it's nice that he knows the business of every family in his parish. He says he hopes he can find the boy and help him. Eric turns off his light, but now Annie can't sleep. They eye each other as the playful guitar strums. Gross. No more babies for you two! You don't want to have to change the name of the show, do you?
Mary and Simon kick back in one bedroom or another and moan about their respective lost loves. Lucy comes in wearing her yellow robe with moon appliqués which is SO Beverly Hills 90210 season-before-last - scrimp on wardrobes, much, Mr. Spelling? - and announces that she's ready for bed. She ascertains that her siblings are going to stay up moaning and groaning about their love lives. "I don't HAVE a love life," say Mary and Simon simultaneously. Man, that's freaking funny. Not. Lucy tells them to cheer up and turns to go. Mary yells after her to pray that Robbie will find a way to "get back in good" with Mary and the family. Simon adds his request that she pray for him to get back in with Deena's family. Lucy says that she's "not tying up the God Lines with either of those prayers. Got it?" She stomps away. Catty Mary remarks to Simon that Lucy's doing the best she can, considering the only two guys she's ever been in love with are Jimmy and Rod. Whatever that means. Simon asks about the "other one" that they both liked - "the one with the big lips." Mary says that they don't speak of him. Simon misses Deena. Mary misses Robbie. Gwen misses the toilet bowl when she runs to puke.
Ruthie gets out of bed to pray. "Please, God, give me a pony. I really, really want a pony. If you give me a pony, I'll never, ever do anything wrong again. This is Ruthie Camden and I'm asking you for a pony and sooner is better than later." CRASH! An Archangel appears and sets Ruthie afire in a furious blaze. Oh, wait. No. No one appears. Ruthie sighs. So do I.