Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: B | 1 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT The Weekly Promcoming Dance
By Monty Ashley | Season 16 | Episode 4 | Aired on 04.01.2013
Brooke brings up Katrina again, which is kind of a downer. Jacoby seems to agree, because he'd rather do a goofy imitation of his mother cheering for him. He seems fun! Scores: 8 (Carrie Ann), 8 (Len), 8 (Bruno).
Wynonna and Tony have the samba. She went to prom, of course. They'll be dancing to "Pour Some Sugar on Me" and their dance will involve some pole dancing. Classy! To prepare, they go to the Hard Rock to see Def Leppard in concert. You'd think they'd also go to a strip club for the pole-dancing part. They start on a runway and it's just awful. The only thing Wynonna does that's even close to dancing is this shoulder-shimmy thing, and she doesn't even look like she's having fun doing it. Ugh. Sorry, Wynonna.
Carrie Ann starts with "You know I love you..." and that's kind of how I feel here. Len says, "You're like Mount Rushmore. You look magnificent, but you don't move." He gets booed off the stage. Bruno flails around for a bit to distract people from the fact that he also hated it.
Brooke asks Wynonna how she feels about the criticism, and Wynonna says that she's a singer, not a dancer. Scores: 5 (Carrie Ann), 5 (Len), 5 (Bruno).
Sean will be doing "YMCA" with Peta and "the guys from our troupe." Unfortunately for Sean, my main takeaway from the rehearsal footage is that Peta is a lot of fun. I may not be the first person to say this, but Sean seems kind of bland to me. The dance starts with everyone in Village People costumes in an alley set. Then they come out on the stage and "the guys from the troupe" leave. It turns out Sean is in overalls because he's the construction worker. Peta is in something approximating an Indian outfit. Sean seems amiable enough, but the dance is just...there. Len says it's Sean's best dance. Bruno claims the dance was full of fun. Carrie Ann praises Sean's gusto. See, that's what I didn't like. He wasn't gusto-y enough.
Say hello to the band. Hi, band! Okay, enough of you guys. Brooke asks how Sean decided which Village Person to be, and he claims "Construction Worker" was the most manly. Scores: 7 (Carrie Ann), 7 (Len), 7 (Bruno).
Zendaya and Val have Viennese Waltz. You know, like Christoph? See, because Christoph Waltz was born in Vienna. Oh, skip it. Zendaya has the best excuse for not having gone to prom, since she's barely old enough to have done so and she's been pretty busy the last couple of years. She'll be dancing to "Que Sera, Sera" for her grandmother. The dance floor has a gondola on it! Zendaya gets out of it and is great. I guess she's supposed to be graded on a curve for having actually been a dancer, but she really does do a great job. She appears to be experiencing actual emotions out there, rather than just smiling constantly or counting "1, 2, 3" over and over again.