Episode Report Card LuluBates: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Boozer on a Train Headed to Los Angeles
By LuluBates | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.29.2009
hers and doesn't scream or anything, which is something they must teach you at medical school, because that shit would be startling. They offer each other firm handshakes and then Olivia scoots to explain to the FBI the damage done to Janice's interior department. The boss, Wedeck, thanks Olivia for saving her life and in gratitude promises to avoid inappropriately groping her at this year's office holiday party. She smiles appreciatively. The boss sends the team home to, like, shower, but Demetri is pretty sure that if he bathes, the enemy wins. He enlists the kid who is the once and always The Famous Jett Jackson into defying the boss's order. Olivia looks over the injury Mark incurred in the firefight and uses the opportunity to dig for information. Mark confesses that they got shot at and he knows it is related to Janice's attack, but can't make the connection. I mean who would harm an FBI agent, right? He stares at her intently and pauses dramatically, while Olivia stares at him intently and dramatically pauses and OH SHIT these two are perfect for each other, right? Right. Olivia realizes that they have been so obsessed with the future that they totally forgot the $10,000 they spent on the online Present Living seminar and they totally forgot to, er... live in the present. They finally remember to live in the now by hugging and staring intently at each other some more. Maybe next time they'll just buy the commemorative mug.
Demetri and Jett Jackson head to the morgue to check out Janice's handiwork. The body of the not-dearly departed has no fingerprints or dental records or driver's license or permanent record of any kind. He must have been a real snooze in middle school not to get any kind of demerit on his permanent record. Demetri throws a file because he is mad and the medical examiner (who is not a smart n' sassy black woman) doesn't say word one. The coroner is checking for scars when Demetri starts a staring contest with a corpse (dude, YOU WILL LOSE) when Jett calls him over. He wants to make sure he is psychologically sound what with getting shot at and then going to the morgue and knowing he is going to die in a few months. Demetri shrugs because what the heck else can you do except fight it or get all Nietzschean about it and who the heck can spell that? The coroner announces that the dead guy had Lasik eye surgery and I for one am getting so sick of these blatant product placements. Like, WE GET IT, Lasik is the bomb. All the coolest dead guys get Lasik. Want to be like them? Get Lasik! Demetri grabs the light out of the medical examiner's hand (yeah, just try that in Dr. Warner's lab and you'll end up your own "special victim") and notices a stamp from a club. It's a blue hand. Scratch that, it's THE BLUE HAND. From Mark's vision board. Demetri realizes the dead guy might be helpful after all.
Back at the hospital, Lloyd has finally found a costume that fits Dylan and it is...Flavor Flav. Dr. Bryce (the suicidal doctor) likes the costume, but Lloyd bemoans that it was the last one in Dylan's size. Dude, awesome has no size. And that giant ass watch looks good on everyone. Lloyd asks Bryce to have Olivia stop by so they can say their farewells. Bryce shrugs and so do I. Meanwhile, Wedek, the boss, apologizes to Mark for yelling at him and abandoning him in front of Congress. Mark looks at him sorrowfully, makes a dramatic pause, and offers him a quarter for his apology.
At FBI HQ, Demetri and Jett spitball about possible meanings for the Blue Hand. Jett thinks China, but Demetri doesn't buy it. Why would China send a hit squad to wipe out the FBI field office? They would totally just have sent a ninja. Demetri knows that something in Mark's testimony triggered the attack, but he doesn't know what it was. He just knows it's not China BECAUSE CHINA IS STUPID. (Just want to make sure this gets censored in Shanghai.) Jett doesn't disagree. He must be a junior agent, because he doesn't argue -- only witty repartee and snappy comebacks get you promoted in the FBI. Back at the hospital, Olivia is checking Janice's vital signs and brain function. Janice makes some pointed references to Mark's neat freakishness and everyone smiles. I smile, too, because being a neat freak is a nice addition to Mark's repertoire of stares and sighs and pauses. Knowing he is a neat freak gives his character real three-dimensionality. And OCD. Mark thanks Olivia for her excellent work in saving his colleague. He heads home to take their daughter trick-or-treating.
Jett and Demetri are still mulling over the Blue Hand clue. Based on Mark's flash forward, they know the Blue Hand relates somehow to the word "Baltimore." They debate whether it was (or will be?) Baltimore Street in LA or Baltimore, Maryland. Budget restraints lead them to investigate Baltimore Street first. Jett wants to know if this investigation means that Demetri now believes the flash forwards are real. Jett, don't be rude. You know perfectly well that Demetri is being dead in the future. So obviously that means Demetri doesn't want to believe in the flash forwards at all, that does not mean he will fall down on his job nor that he will stop trying to find a lead as to who is trying to kill him early. He then promises Jett a Cuban sandwich if they can stop arguing and just drive to Baltimore Street. Dude, YOU SHOULD HAVE LEAD WITH THE SANDWICH.