Episode Report Card Drunken Bee: A+ | 16 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Work
By Drunken Bee | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 06.04.2010
Commercials. Luke is running on a road when J.D. and some other Precious Son of the South come honking up in a Jeep and trawl alongside him. J.D.-- whose voice seems to be getting higher and higher, no?-- starts to tease Luke about not making Co-Conference Player of the Week when J.D. did. J.D. holds up the newspaper and points out his picture, pretending not to know who this Vince Howard is. Luke snarkily says that he remembers spending a few hours in jail with a Vince Howard, taking this chance to remind J.D. that a bunch of guys-- "what's his name? J.D. McDICK?"-- totally ditched Luke and Vince to get arrested in the first place. J.D. "apologizes" (which includes the whiny implication that J.D. is the one getting wronged here-- "What do you want me to do, get on my knees?") and his friend leans over while driving and tells Luke that they're going paintballing tomorrow night and they want him to come. Luke reluctantly agrees to think about it.
Matt and Tami get out of the car in the parking lot of a depressing strip mall. Julie is going to stay in the car with Grandma Saracen. Tami assures Matt that his grandmother will be okay in the car, and they go into the funeral parlor. Inside, a man presents "The American Hero" package to Matt. This package comes with a choice of wood for the casket and standard outer-burial container. Matt snaps back to attention from wherever his mind was just was wandering: "What is that?" The funeral director explains that it has to do with moisture leaking in to the casket over time, "and since Veteran Affairs will be picking up most of the bill, you can honor your father in the manner he deserves." Tami keeps quiet as Matt tries to navigate this needlessly capitalistically complicated exchange. The director goes on to point out the embalming charge, and Matt seems to suddenly realize that his father is THERE, in the building. He asks if he can see him and the director tells him that in this circumstance, he thinks a closed casket is best. Matt passively agrees and goes back to being unable to focus, glancing around the room at the caskets and burial outfits displayed along the walls. Tami jumps in, all business, and politely asks if she can ask just one quick question. She points out a number of charges associated with a "viewing" that they won't be having, then when the director keeps going down the list of the charges-- "Funeral Escort" which is a charge for cars for the attendees of the funeral, Tami really snaps into mama bear mode: "We all have cars, we don't need cars." Matt-- blinking his eyes like he keeps waking up from a bad dream-- says that his grandma is in the car, so he'd like to just sign the papers and go. Tami tells him to go ahead outside, assuring him that she'll finish up in there (and how can you not trust Tami when she assures you of something?!), and Matt shakes the man's hand, gives him a "yes, sir" and leaves. The minute Matt leaves Tami quits beating around the bush and asks, "with all due respect" whether "that boy looks like he can pay $9000 to bury his father." The funeral director sputters some about how Veteran's Affairs will pay for it and Tami pushes him: "You look me in the eye and tell me that Veteran's Affairs is going to pick up a $9,000 bill." He admits that they won't pay for the whole thing and Tami tells him that they are starting over from the beginning, and doing it quickly. Tami Taylor, adding "funeral arrangements" to the list of things she is awesome at handling.