Episode Report Card Deborah: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT God Is My Co-Pilot
By Deborah | Season 2 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.03.2005
After the commercial, it's Sunday morning. Lily comes into the house and whines about how they're all standing around: "Get to work." She looks at Joan, who's standing there with her arms crossed, and asks, "Why the long face, Starshine? I thought you were here to rise above the injustice." Joan says she doesn't want to talk about it: "Let's just say you were right about love." When, exactly, did Lily say much about love? Joan hands her a sheaf of pictures: "Here. I brought you some lung photos, in case you want to avoid…cancer." Oh, well. Who knew it was so easy? And: did she just have those pictures lying around? What's the deal? ["The deal, I suspect, is that whenever you have one character on network TV who smokes, you're required to have another character PSA-ing about how bad smoking is -- especially if the show is on at 8 PM and is ostensibly aimed at teenagers. Because according to TV, teenagers are all dumb and easily led. Shut up, show." -- Sars] Joan wanders away leaving Lily to stare at the top photo for a while. She finally puts the pictures down and comes over to Joan: "Uh, Mr., uh, Rhode Island?" Joan tells her she saw Adam walking down the street and that there was no Rhode Island. Lily: "Huh. Figures." Joan: "No offense, but what do you know about guys anyway?" Lily: "I was a nun. I was married to God." Joan says it's not the same thing. Lily: "It is exactly the same thing. Only worse. He was perfect. Where am I gonna find that again?" Joan asks why she left if he's so great. Vagrant God comes wandering up at this point. Lily: "Because you can't live with perfection. You spend your life trying to live up to it, feeling inadequate. And now he's making me pay." Vagrant God: "Excuse me…" Lily ignores the bum and rambles on, "You know, I just wanted to try to find something real. And what do I get? Nothing but losers in my church singles group who think that God rewards them by giving them good parking spots." Heh. Maybe there's a singles group made up of ex-priests and ex-nuns. She might find more understanding there. Joan eyes God, nervous about the way Lily's ignoring him. Vagrant God tries again: "Ma'am…" Hee. Joan: "I think he needs, um…" Lily makes a sound of mild disgust about the bum and says, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever." Vagrant God looks sad.
Lily grabs Joan by the arm and pulls her aside to tell her about her bad date with some guy named Stan: "You add an A to 'Stan' and you get 'Satan.'" Or Santa. Or Aants. Anyway, they're on a date. He invites her in, she agrees because at this point she's ready for something to happen even if it's with Satan. Maybe she would have liked the idea better if she'd come up with Santa. Or Aants. Joan: "Gross." Lily describes his nasty apartment. She looks in the fridge, thinking she needs a beer to help her "through this." You know, now that I've entered my doddering senescence, I feel even more disposed than usual to give unsolicited advice (yes, look out) and I would suggest that if you need alcohol or drugs to "go through with" some sexual event, it's probably something you're really not ready for. I'm just saying. Anyway, she asks Joan, "And what do you think I find in there? Mm-hm." Joan: "Body parts?" Lily: "Mustard. And a jar of pickles. And this is a guy from my church group, okay? These people are supposed to be with God." God doesn't like condiments? "So if this is what it's come to, watching Stargate with a tinfoil antenna, then, no, I don't know where God is anymore." Of course, Vagrant God begins to approach one more time. As contrived as this is, I'm still finding it all sort of poignant. Joan: "Ever thought that maybe God is all around you, like in other people, trying to reach out…?" I don't know if she could be any more obvious if she wrote "God's standing next to you" on Lily's forehead with a Sharpie, but Lily's oblivious. Vagrant God says gently, "Uh, excuse me, um, but there's no more coffee…" Lily snaps, "Okay, do I look like your secretary?" Man, you should see the superior expression on this teabag's face. (For those just joining us, and/or too rushed/lazy to click and read, a mini-recap: I have a little saying taped up on my monitor, cut off a Yogi Tea teabag. It reads, "If you cannot see God in all, you cannot see God at all." It mocks me frequently, but right now, it's glaring at Lily.) Lily turns back to Joan: "Listen, God is not in Stan. Trust me. I went out with him." She tells Joan to take out the trash: "Because you got me all agitated again."