Episode Report Card Daniel: B- | 1 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT Happy Anniversary, You Bunch of [Censored]
By Daniel | Season 10 | Episode 1 | Aired on 06.04.2012
But we're not here to discuss the sexiness of Bald Andi! We're here to find the head chef for Gordon Ramsay's Paris in Las Vegas, with a salary of a quarter-million dollars! Everyone applies. Patrick tells us that working for Ramsay is the "cat's meow," because maybe he is from the 1920s?
Robyn brings up her seared striped bass to compete against Don's southwestern saltimbocca. (Since Don is from Texas, the soundtrack switches to banjo-pickin' immediately). It's a large portion, and Ramsay practically chokes on all the cumin he used, which is unfortunate since he'd already praised the perfect seasoning in Robyn's perfect dish (which she said is a perfect orgasm, so everyone keep your eye on this one). That's a point for the women.
Next two are Tiffany against Guy. She tells us she's trying to prove she's not some dumb ditzy blonde who looks really good. The second half of that, check. The first part -- we're going to see facts not yet in evidence. Anyway, she's got a lamb schnitzel that Ramsay turns his nose up because it's drenched in sauce and feels like a wet diaper. Kimmie helpfully tells us she doesn't understand what goes through "some of these blonde bitches' heads." Ramsay calls it disgusting. Before we can get to Guy, Clemenza coughs loudly enough for Ramsay to ask if he's OK. Well, he doesn't appear to be dying IMMEDIATELY, I guess.
Back to Guy, who was a drill sergeant in the Israeli infantry for three years, so it's going to take a lot to break him. He makes the mistake of telling Ramsay that his pan-seared striped bass with a chocolate miso sauce didn't come out the way he wanted it to without Ramsay having even tried it yet. He says it was burned and advises Ramsay not to try it. Ramsay can't believe it. Neither can anyone back in line. Listen, Guy: Ramsay just called your opponent's dish a disgusting wet diaper, so unless you think yours is worse THAN A DISGUSTING WET DIAPER, shut up!
Ramsay tries it anyway, and says it tastes like a fucking fish sundae and awards no points. Clemenza starts hacking up a lung again and Ramsay asks if he needs to sit down, which he does. "I am getting seriously worried about you," he says.
After the commercial break, while we think Clemenza MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE, Clemenza recovers and acknowledges that while he's really overweight, he still works fourteen to sixteen hours a day and while spin circles around us. I would think that, gravity-wise, most of us would orbit him, just due to physics, but since it looks like he's going to pull through, let's move on.