Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT In Search Of Pygmies
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 12 | Aired on 02.13.2000
Unisex. Nelle walks out of the potty and tells Ally that she liked Eyehair otherwise. Ally agrees: "Maybe it was the restaurant. It was an extremely quiet place." Ally asks Nelle if she thinks she should go out with him one more time. "He's here," Elaine pops in to say. Ally tells Elaine to show him in. She figures the acoustics of the bathroom would be perfect to test out whether the laugh was really horrible. This is said with much stuttering and hand flapping, so you can thank me later for cutting it down for you. Elaine brings Eyehair in. Ally asks Nelle if she knows any jokes. "No," Nelle says. "Figures," Ally says. Eyehair walks in. They explain the Unisex with the same line as last week about "going together when [they] go." The three ladies stand in a row and stare at Eyehair. They can't get him to laugh, only giggle slightly. Nelle tells a bad joke. Eyehair gives a polite giggle. Ally tells this story about a client of hers who asked the judge if he could call him a son of a bitch. The judge said he'd hold him in contempt and add time to the sentence. The client asked if he could just think the judge was a son of a bitch. The judge said he couldn't do anything about that because he can't regulate someone's thoughts. The client then said, "Well, in that case, Judge, I think you're a son of a bitch." The girls giggle. Eyehair chuckles. "Now you can see why she has to run a guy over to get a date," Elaine deadpans. This kicks off Obnoxious Laugh. Big huge horrified looks from Nelle, Elaine and Ally. Scary music plays.
Marty tells Ling that he won't let the nursing home rob him of his imagination. Ling asks Marty whether the creatures really exist. Marty looks around the room at all of the residents and says that he realizes he has to say that he knows that in order to not get evicted. Ling asks for a few moments alone with Marty. The judge says she can't have them, and asks Marty whether the creatures are real. Marty glances, glances, glances. People stare at Marty. Glances. "Yes, Your Honor," he says, "they are very real indeed." The residents applaud until the judge calls for order. Marty goes on about how to hunt dragons. Ling asks him if he wants to be evicted. He says that he just can't lie. Oh, dear Lord. Just then, in a moment of computer graphics not seen since the breathtaking special effects of Cat's Eye, Gremlins, and Ghoulies, little creatures come running in the room towards Marty. Ling asks what's wrong and the judge asks what Marty's looking at. The pygmies run towards Marty and he jumps up and screams. There is a moment of quiet while everyone glances at everyone else. The pygmies attack again (I can't believe I just wrote that sentence) and Marty hides behind the judge. The judge is yelling at him. Suddenly it's quiet. Marty says that he thought he heard them about to come in and that perhaps he's nervous. He apologizes, and people are forced to glance around while the oboe plays.