Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | 2 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Indian Summer
By Wing Chun | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.26.1999
Deputy "I'm Not Gay!" Doug is at the door. While the Piano Riff of Teen Prevarication tootles in the background, Doug shines a flashlight around Estrangement Estates (like, the crime was across the road, moron) and Dawson tells him that he made a mistake about the intruder at the Ryan house. Deputy Doug seems satisfied by this explanation, and leaves. When Dawson returns to the Sanctum Dawsonorum, Skeeve has left. Unfortunately, she'll be back. [Insert Sideshow Bob shudder here.]
In a park, Jen "I Am Woman, Hear Me Bore" Lindley and Jack "Jody Campbell" McPhee lie on a white quilt -- decorated with a pattern that I believe is called "The Wedding Ring" -- that would go for about $800 at a Mennonite market and hence should not be laid out on a lawn where it could suffer permanent grass stains. Jack says something about the stars, and then says they should probably go home. Jen says, "Not before the main event," and then says that between the stars and the moonlight, "it's perfect." Jack scoffs: "Yeah. Lying in the grass on a hot Indian summer night with your gay best friend -- that's your definition of 'perfect'?" Jen says she could do a lot worse. Jack says that she can't tell him there isn't anyone else she'd rather be stargazing with. She says, "You got me," and then confesses that it's Matt Damon. When Jack challenges that vote, she changes her mind to Ben Affleck. Jack says he was thinking of the realm of the possible, and suggests Henry. Jen says, "The freshman?" For those who didn't see it last week, Jack reminds her (as if she could have forgotten) that Henry paid $500 to kiss her, and says, "You gotta admit that's kind of sweet." Jen says, "It's the sweet ones that you have to watch out for. They'll run over you like a Mack truck." Jack says that Henry's harmless, and that he worships Jen. Jen says that he's a teenage boy, and hence will worship "anything in a Wonderbra." She cozies up to Jack and tells him that she's "already sleeping with the best-looking guy on the football team," and adds that best friends "are nothing to sneeze at." Aw. Jack looks pensive. Jen says that when she first met Joey and Dawson, she was so envious of "what they had -- all that history." Jack says, "Then that whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing kicked in." Jen decides to tempt fate, and says, "See, that's what's so great about us -- sex will never come between you and me." Then the automatic sprinklers kick in and effectively chase Jack and Jen out of the park. If what concerns me most about this scene is the possibility of damage to the quilt, does that make me an old lady? Because I can live with that.