Episode Report Card Sara M: C- | 1 USERS: F YOU GRADE IT Goodbye Twickham 2005
By Sara M | Season 5 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.18.2005
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.The oldest resident of Stars Hollow finally kicks it, and no one is particularly upset about it because I guess death is what old people deserve, plus a whole new world of opportunity opens to the Stars Hollowians when Old Man Tinkertoyorwhatever leaves his house to them, with the demand that it be turned into a Stars Hollow history museum for two months. Taylor immediately gets drunk with bizarre manifestations of power at the prospect, and commandeers a museum crew chock full o' crazy townies -- and, to everyone's surprise, Luke, who secretly wants to buy Old Man Tinkertoy's house when the museum closes so he can live in it with his girlfriend Lorelai "or whoever." Over at Yale, we learn that Rory and Logan and Paris and Doyle have apparently broken up over the long hiatus, and the girls return to Stars Hollow to accidentally drown their sorrows in Miss Patty's museum grand opening punch. Both the punch and the museum are big hits, and all are entertained by a ridiculously ornate diorama about the finer points of Stars Hollow history. Especially Sookie, who could probably use a few hobbies or something. And at some point during the diorama, Lorelai realizes that an upcoming magazine article about the Inn isn't worth it if it includes her quotes about Emily, and how she's like Hitler. We end with Pointless Dean stopping by to tell Luke that Lorelai will never be happy with him, a drunk and shoeless Paris begging for change, Lane and Zach closer than ever now that his love of the banjo is no longer a secret, and, in a short and sweet scene that most of us can probably relate to in some way, Rory lying in Lorelai's lap and crying about Logan. Old Man Tinkertoy remains dead. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
I haven't really watched this show before, but I've done some catch-up recap-reading, and I grew up in a small town in Connecticut, so I figure I'll catch on pretty quick. But I would like to apologize ahead of time for the mistakes I'm bound to make. Pamie has bigger feet than me, so it's impossible for me to fill her shoes. I'm going to have to buy those foot-extenders or stuff tissues in the toes or maybe I should just stop with the metaphor and proceed with the recap.
We open outside a large, plantation-style house with a long line of people stretching out the door and onto the sidewalk. At first I thought maybe everyone was in line for tryouts for Stars Hollow Idol, but it turns out they're all there to visit Old Man Twickham, Stars Hollow's oldest living resident, who is in imminent danger of having the "living" part of the title dropped. I do hope Old Man T is aware and accepting of his impending death, because otherwise having the entire town walk through his bedroom to wish him a good afterlife might be a little unsettling. Anyway, Lorelai is quickly scolded by Taylor for her flippant attitude about the occasion as she chatters on to Sookie about the hazards of buying trail mix these days, but she exposits that this whole lining up to say goodbye to dying Old Man T thing happens all the time, and that its frequency tends to make the occasion less solemn. Taylor says that Lorelai might think that, but that everyone else im line has managed to be respectful. Kirk walks by, selling souvenirs. They include popcorn and a large foam hand. I want one. The foam hand, not the popcorn. Popcorn always gets stuck in my teeth.
Andrew exits the house, and Lorelai asks him how Old Man T is doing. Andrew says he's tired and distracted: "the whole time I was there, he was TiVoing through a fresh Summerland," Andrew says. Ha! While I love the effort to include a dig at the WB's ridiculous "fresh" campaign, I find it hard to believe that the oldest resident of the town knows how to work a TiVo when my grandparents are still trying to navigate their way through wonderful world of VCRs. Unless, of course, Stars Hollow is actually The City and Old Man T is on his way to the carousel.
These opening credits sure are orange.
Yale! Rory picks up the phone to hear from Lorelai that Old Man T actually died. He is now "the man formerly known Twickham." "Formerly"? Do you get new names in the afterlife? I hope so -- I want PANTHER for my new name. I think it's dangerous, but in a sexy and alluring way. And sleek. I need to be sleeker. Anyway, Rory can't believe it -- Old Man T has been dying for her whole life. Now that he's actually gone and died, it's like part of her childhood has as well. That's sort of how I felt when the Pope died. Lorelai says that she and Sookie ended up getting to see Twickham right before he died with thoughts of Lori Loughlin dancing through his old head. But was it the Full House Lori Loughlin or the Summerland Lori Loughlin? And shouldn't Old Man T, like the rest of the country, be going crazy for that adorable Jesse McCartney? Rory says that Kirk's souvenirs are "tacky," and Lorelai agrees as she glances at her "Goodbye Twickham 2005" balloon. She should have bought a foam hand. Balloons deflate; foam hands last forever, or at least until you accidentally rip the protruding finger off.