Episode Report Card Sara M: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cutting a rug
By Sara M | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.25.1998
Down in the hall, the entire family runs to answer the door. That is the opposite of what happens when I'm home for break. I've had friends come over, ring the doorbell, and leave thinking no one was home because inside the house we were all fighting with each other over who should get up and not answering the door. I would still rather have my lazy family, though, than the Camdens.Back on the show, the door opens to Anniedad wearing a very obvious toupee. In a remarkable show of subtlety, the show has chosen to give Anniedad a wig that does not come close to matching his hair color. Shots of everyone in the family being shocked. Happy barks. Ruthie doesn't recognize her own grandfather because she is horrible and stupid. Annie makes a face. Anniedad smiles. The Guitar of Amusement plays us to a commercial. Let me tell you, I laughed about that toupee gag for the whole break. Actually, I didn't.
Morning at the CamPound. Ruthie is asking rude questions about the wig. Simon asks "what the chicks think" about his new hair. The day I ask my grandfather if women find him attractive is...well...never. Anniedad says that they've shown interest. Sure. Simon asks what Ginger thinks. Annie makes a really angry face for no reason, and it scares me. Anniedad says that he and Ginger are "taking a break." Ruthie asks what they're taking a break from. I ask Ruthie to give me a break. Simon tells her that Ginger and Anniedad are over. Then he asks if Anniedad has been getting younger girls with his new look. Again, it's weird that a twelve-year-old cares this much about his grandfather's love life. It would be weird at any age, so don't even think about raising the topic, Matt. Annie sighs angrily. Simon corrects himself and says, "Younger women?" Like that's any better, Simon -- stop asking your grandfather these questions! Annie tells Simon and Ruthie to go get ready for school. Ruthie is disappointed that she won't be able to hear any juicy details. I am relieved.
Ruthie and Simon have a conversation about the lizards that I can't even begin to care about. I pity the lizards because they're close to Ruthie, but that's it. They agree not to get rid of the lizards while they have the eggs. Then Simon does the Dakar television show-style walk into the camera.
Anniedad asks what Annie thinks. Annie says that it's his business if he wants to date younger women. Yes, it is, Annie, thank you. Anniedad says he was talking about the toupee. Annie says it will take some getting used to. Eric enters and addresses Anniedad as "Grandpa." What? Does that mean that Anniedad is not only Annie's dad, but also Eric's grandfather? That would mean that Anniedad is the Colonel's father, and Annie is Eric's mother or his aunt as well as his wife. This is the kind of incest that produces stupid, noisy, annoying children. RevCam says that "Grandpa" just doesn't seem to work for Anniedad with the new toupee. It doesn't work without it either, Eric. While he says this, he puts his hands in front of his face and looks like he's vogueing. Strike a pose. Annie quickly says that she thinks "Grandpa" does suit him, and her face looks like she was sucking several lemons during her off-camera time. Anniedad says he has another surprise. Annie is less than thrilled. Anniedad tells them that he's given them the two burial plots next to his and his dead wife's. Annie says a weak "thank you." Eric drinks some brownish orange juice. I add "burial plot" to my birthday list.