Episode Report Card Niki: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT In a Whole Lot of Shhh
By Niki | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.27.2000
We cut to a close-up of a measuring tape being pulled across the doorway. The plucky guitars start up to let us know that this is going to be funny. Rick ducks under the tape and approaches the woman in charge, asking how long and how disruptive they're going to be. She assures him it's just a simple matter of getting some measurements, taking some pictures, checking the circuit breakers, and then they're out. She adds that they're "the surgical strike force of special events." "Surgical strike force"? Oh, yeah, they're with Miles all right. The party girl promises that everything will be perfect because she doesn't "want to blow this one." Rick wants to know why. "Because I've seen the guest list," she says, clutching her clipboard coyly. Rick watches her walk away, open-mouthed. A sleek-looking woman approaches. She tells Rick, "The driver is waiting." "Why is the driver waiting?" Rick asks blankly. "A gift from Mr. Drentell. You'll be back in an hour," she promises. Rick wants to know where he's going. She gives him a once-over and says it's a surprise -- Mr. Drentell loves surprises. Oo! Oo! I know, I know! Rick's going to a tailor for a custom-made suit! Miles is just like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. What does that does that make Rick, I wonder?
"It depends on whether you dress to the right or to the left," says the tailor, not in answer to my question, but to Rick. The Lucky Tailor is kneeling before Rick, measuring his inseam. The plucky guitars are still playing. Rick, standing with his arms crossed, doesn't understand. The tailor stands, grinning impishly. "Sir, I mean to which...heh...side," he says, pointing to the left and then to the right. Rick gets it. He admits he's never really noticed which side. Three million Americans volunteer to help him find out. Rick wants to know if it makes much of a difference. "I think you'd be a much better judge of that than I would, sir," the tailor says as he steps away. Rick looks dumbfounded. What can he say to that? To let the tailor know that his does, in fact, make a difference thankyouverymuch, Rick quickly stammers, "To the, uh, left. No...right. No...left." The tailor stands behind him with a look like, "Sir, if you can't feel which side it's on, trust me, it won't make a difference." Rick hurries to explain that it's definitely the left side because "that would be balanced." The tailor looks confused. Rick balls up his fists and looks like he's about to shadow box, announcing proudly, "Well yeah. I'm right-handed." Get it? He made a joke about jerking the Rick Stick. And implied that he does it a lot. Huh...talk amongst yourselves a minute, would you? I just need to think about it for a minute, you know, to see if it makes sense... ["Hee! I didn't read it like that at all. I was thinking more like, right-handed/left-brained. Because if he were right-handed, wouldn't he want...it...to the right for easier access? Let's all go to the forums and debate the issue in more depth!" -- Wing Chun]