Episode Report Card Cate: F | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT I Really Don't
By Cate | Season 6 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.24.2002
Great -- we're going to have to listen in on their date again. Now they're discussing politics, which tends to put me to sleep even when the speakers are intelligent and well-spoken. We learn that Dopey is a Republican. I don't have anything against Republicans, per se. In fact, I come from a family of Republicans, and even I am something of a fiscal conservative, albeit with hardcore liberal views on social issues. I'm guessing the main reason Dopey's Republican isn't because he likes -- or even understands -- their stand on economic issues, but because he loves how they back things like the Defense of Marriage Act. Plot Contrivance says she's a Democrat -- one who really would love to vote for Rumsfeld. Actually, she loves George Bush too. I'm beginning to think she's just about as knowledgeable about politics as she is about religion.
Some time has elapsed, and now the lovebirds are eating their burgers. Plot Contrivance is eating hers without a bun, so we can see it's a plain burger. Frankly, I was expecting Brenda to have her eating a cheeseburger. No, make that a bacon cheeseburger. The topic of discussion is baseball. Plot Contrivance lives for it; Dopey is ignorant -- about baseball, just about baseball, of course. He suggests that PC can teach him. In return, he will teach her about ironing. And stalking, of course. PC wants to get serious, so Dopey asks her if she could ever marry anyone who was not Jewish. She'd never considered it before, but since Dopey is so "considerate" and -- get this -- "passionate," she is now considering it. The main problem with the scenario appears to be that she's not sure she could "live with a Christmas tree." Right, and a Christmas tree has so much to do with Christianity. In fact, isn't it the most sacred of Christian symbols? Well, after Santa Claus, that is. Or maybe PC's just getting in a dig at Barry Watson's acting skills. Hey, he's not that bad! I think it's the guy who plays Jimmy Plywood that you're thinking of. Dopey tells a pointless story about how his family decorates their Christmas trees. Then he tells her he doesn't even need a tree, because he and Plot Contrivance have the ability to "share the gifts of love and life" with each other. PC pretends this is both original and beautiful enough to make her want to cry. Or maybe she just feels incredibly sad that she's wasting her time eating burgers with him when she could have been at home pushing back her cuticles.
The next topic of discussion is money. Dopey explains that he doesn't have any. Sarah does, though it takes her about twenty minutes to come up with the right word to describe herself. That word is "wealthy," which will certainly make things easier for her and the Dopester come next year. Plot Contrivance talks about what a "relief" it is to be able to discuss money with Matt. She's never talked about it with anyone outside her family before, and discussing it seems so intimate. Does that mean I was intimate with that bank teller last week? Because we were talking about money, you know. She was cute too. I guess my husband can't mind that I was intimate with her, since, as you'll recall from Doc's addle-pated speech earlier, marriage is all about unconditional love. Spurred on by all this intimacy, PC decides it's time to talk about sex. Dopey agrees.