Episode Report Card 1 USERS: C- YOU GRADE IT Portraits
By Maggie | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.18.1999
Okay, I'm ready for that LSD now, to erase Julie's performance at Epstein Bar from my cerebral cortex. I have no words to accurately describe the breathy warbling that passes for Amy Jo Johnson's "singing." It is horrible and tuneless. Thanks to the miracle of closed captioning, I can transcribe the words of the song without having to really listen to it. They are:
I know better now
Better be this time
Give me love
Give me life
I've been travelling for so long
Overdrive, hundred miles
I deserve a little bit of this life
A little smile
I deserve a little bit of you
Yeah.
She actually whispers the last word, which is the patented folkie-waif way of ending every song. Sean is the only one of the gang who shows up at Julie's gig, but, he would enjoy listening to her croak the phone book, so what does he know. However, I did notice that he had a huge glass of beer in his hand to anesthetize himself, so maybe he isn't so dumb. A guy, who looks a lot like a 90s Gabe Kaplan, introduces himself after Julie has finished her song. He is Eric "Mr. Kot-tare" Kidd, the head of A&R at Pop Rocks records. Gee Eric, I hope that's not a Coke that you're drinking; that can be dangerous. He asks her if she's made any recordings. No Eric, that would be Jewel that you're thinking of. Anyway, Julie/Jewelie tells him that she made a cheesy tape of herself, which features a dog barking in the background. I'm sure many dogs were attracted to her singing, but that's another story. Eric, who hasn't stopped grinning throughout their exchange, assures her that he is serious about wanting her tape. He offers to buy her a drink, which she declines. Sean joins them to congratulate Jewelie and she introduces him to Eric. Eric gives her his card and leaves. Jewelie is impressed but Sean looks skeptical. Of course.["I would like to add that no one, ever, has gotten a record deal while playing open-mike nights at a college bar as their sole gigs, even if it is a small or non-existent record label. I think the writers owe musicians everywhere an apology for making it look so easy to get signed. Because it's not." -- Kim]
Felicity barges into a science lab where Elena is working on an experiment with her new lab partner, Gwen. Nice shout out to MBTV's Gwen. TV-Gwen looks like Winona Ryder, and she is one girl interrupted by Felicity's revelation to Elena that Knoll "is the greatest." Poor TV-Gwen has even less of a storyline than Elena, though it is established that she is a "slow talker." Felicity reports how it went when she told Knoll how she felt him. She really respected his decision, which only makes her want him more. Huh? I am so not interested in this story line.