Episode Report Card Strega: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Princess Bride
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 07.27.2000
Previously: There was a princess, a broken mirror, a dragon, and an evil sorcerer. And the prince's flunkies put the kerzap on Crichton.
"Argh!" says Crichton. "Whammo," says a figure in a pink robe, as it leaps in and kicks the lead flunky. Crichton sags to the floor as the pink whirlwind continues to leap and kick. Whoever it is, she has nice legs. When she pauses long enough to snap another flunky's arm, we finally see that it's Jenavia. Crichton lends a hand, or actually a leg, tripping another flunky. Jenavia goes on snapping flunky-bits, and then a spring-loaded blade pops out of her sleeve and she shoves it into the last flunky's jaw. Wow, she's kind of a badass. Crichton stares at her wearily, and she asks what branch he's with. When he doesn't answer, she introduces herself: "Jenavia Chato. Disrupter, Peacekeeper Special Directorate." She repeats her question, and Crichton suavely says he's not allowed to tell her that. Jenavia grumbles that she wasn't told there'd be backup and explains that her assignment is to kill Clavor if he becomes king. She adds, "I admire your dedication. I wouldn't let them make me a statue for eighty cycles." Crichton admits that he was thinking the same thing. Jenavia, concerned, sits down next to him and asks, "Would you hesitate to kill me if I jeopardized the mission?" Holy cats, her eyes are gigantic. That's creepy. Crichton stares back at her and finally says, "Jenavia, right? Thanks!" and hurries out.
Credits. Props to Mark and Anna, who should be getting married around the time this goes live. As far as I know, he didn't propose to escape an alien menace. Though that wouldn't entirely surprise me.
Clavor is pacing in his room when Crichton says, "How ya doin'?" and shoves Clavor backwards. Clavor starts blustering, and Crichton actually says, "You want a piece of me?" and lightly slaps Clavor. Ha! Then he says it again, and slaps the other cheek. Ha again! Clavor ducks behind a Sebacean shoji screen and shouts for his guards. Crichton grabs Clavor by the jaw and explains, "The guards are taking five so the brothers-in-law can get to know one another." Clavor quickly says, "If someone tried to kill you using my name, they will pay!" Good cover, Clavor. Crichton rightly notes that Clavor is pathetic, and slaps him a couple more times. Clavor finally screams that Crichton can't hit royalty. Crichton punches him in the face. Clavor collapses into a seat and asks what Crichton wants. Crichton grabs Clavorâs nose and quietly says, "I want off this planet. Now, you're going to find a way to get Scorpius off my back." He tugs on Clavor's nose to encourage a nod of agreement. Ro-Na wanders in to eavesdrop, and in the background we see Jenavia washing up behind another shoji screen. Jenavia calls, "Have we company?" Crichton tells Clavor that Katralla will marry whoever she wants, and prompts another nod. He concludes, "And you get to be king." Jenavia finally pokes her head up over the screen and complains, "Clavor, I'm trying to bathe." Crichton keeps his nasal-grip as he greets her, saying, "Oh look, the future Mrs. Valiant." As Jenavia pulls on a robe, Crichton very quietly tells Clavor, "Do not try to kill me again. It makes me angry." One more nod, and Ro-Na interrupts to ask if everything's all right. Crichton releases Clavor and exits, saying, "He needs a bath and a hug." Clavor tells Ro-Na to get the Empress.