Episode Report Card LTG: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cellular Degeneration
By LTG | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.04.2005
LJ and his mother are meeting with his parole officer. She wonders what made a good kid go bad, and he tells her that it won't happen again. She starts to talk about the extenuating circumstances in his life, and he interrupts her: "If you're talking about that guy at Fox River, he's got nothing to do with this." Except for having lead billing. LJ thinks the world will be a better place when Linc is gone. His parole officer thinks that LJ is carrying around a lot of self-destructive anger, and her solution is to make him participate in the Scared Straight program at Fox River. At first I assumed that would involve meeting T-Bag, because he's enough to scare even me into being a little bit straight, but that's not what the parole officer has in mind. Instead, LJ will be meeting with his father once a week. I'm sorry, I thought this woman was the parole officer -- it turns out, she's actually the contrivance officer. My mistake.
Michael and Sucre are doing their P.I. (prison industry) work, painting some empty room. Michael walks past Sucre, opens up an empty circuit breaker box, wraps the cell phone in a rag, and puts it in the box. Sucre sees him and says, "Tell me that ain't what I think it is." Michael truthfully responds, "It ain't what you think it is." Sucre points out what trouble Michael would get into if he got caught with the phone, and then wonders if Michael is able to make calls whenever he wants. Michael acts all threatening, telling Sucre, "What's in there -- you never saw it. Got it?" Yeah, Toeless Joe, I'm not sure why you think you're scary -- but you're not.
Warden Pope and three guards are in Linc's cell. The Pope hands a paper to Linc and asks why he didn't include any names on the list of people he would like at his execution. Linc doesn't see any reason to invite people to watch him die. Pope actually demonstrates some human compassion when he tells Linc that most executees "want some member of their family there before they leave this world." Linc hands back the piece of paper and says that he'll go it alone, but Pope tells him to think it over, and leaves the paper with him.
On the outside, we hear some of that "hip hop" all the kids are listening to. Do you think that means Veronica is going to the "dangerous" housing project? If you do, you're right -- but you don't win a prize, because that was the most obnoxiously obvious cue ever. Veronica enters a building and learns from a handy black woman that Leticia is in unit number five. If Leticia's hiding, she's not doing a very good job. Veronica climbs the stairs and finds that the door to number five is partially open. Rather than knocking, she slowly pushes the door open and enters the apartment. Rude. She calls out "hello," and then sees a partially packed suitcase on the coffee table. And then Leticia jumps around the corner, points a gun at her, and tells her, "Don't you move a muscle." And then Veronica twitches, so Leticia guns her down. Or maybe we just cut to commercials instead.