Episode Report Card Niki: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Can you say "anticlimactic"?
By Niki | Season 2 | Episode 14 | Aired on 03.06.2001
Inside, Jake paces around helplessly. He moves next to Tiffany, who has taken a seat on the floor, and rubs her shoulders reassuringly. She says, "This is the strangest thing that's ever happened to me." Somehow, that surprises me. I mean, this is Tiffany. Jake agrees that it's pretty weird. "They're not going to let Giancarlo in here. What are we going to do?" Tiffany asks. Jake shrugs and says he guesses they'll just have to wait until Benny gets tired. As they continue discussing the situation, Grace gives them a sidelong glance, no doubt taking in the very intimate nature of their body language. She looks a little irked.
Spencer's grandma, meanwhile, just won't make things easy for the poor busboy. She just insists on having heart trouble. Seriously, she's looking pretty weak, and Spencer looks scared. Grace notices and calls for Jake's help. Spencer tells Jake, "Her angina's bothering her, and she's sweating." From his perch at the bar, Benny asks what's the matter with her. Spencer tells him that she has heart trouble. Jake looks up pleadingly: "She shouldn't be on the floor, Benny. Nobody should." Benny just looks at him. Jake stands up and says that he's going to put her in a chair. "Fine," Benny says, disinterested. After they get Nana seated, Jake says that everybody should be in chairs, "just until Giancarlo comes." Benny waves his hand dismissively and says, "Whatever." Everybody gets up slowly, moaning and groaning about their aching bodies, when Jake's cell phone rings. He does the smart thing and holds it out to Benny, asking if he should answer it. Benny sighs and says yes.
It's Captain Obvious, whose real name is Lt. Sadaquoy. She asks Jake if everyone is okay, and he says they are. She asks whether Benny knows that Jake is speaking to her, and Jake says yes, "Benny's right here," as he moves toward him. He hasn't taken his eyes off Benny. She asks if Benny will talk to her, and Jake wordlessly holds out the phone. Benny's reluctant, but Jake tells him, "It's not the same guy as before, okay? It's a woman. She sounds nice. Maybe she can help." Benny takes the phone, and the negotiator asks if everything is all right, and if there's anything she can get him. Oh, will these people never learn? There goes Benny again with his crazy Giancarlo talk. She says they're working on it, but they haven't been able to find the asshole chef yet. Benny wants to know why they just don't go away until he comes, then. Benny, dude, you really are an idiot. She plays it a little cooler than me, though, telling him they can't do that until he does something for them -- he needs to unlock the door and let everyone go. See, that's why she's the negotiator, and I'm not. I have no patience for morons. Benny asks again why they can't just go away if he promises to let everyone go. Benny just doesn't understand how little the word of a gun-wielding maniac counts for these days. She suggests that he let her come inside so they can talk about it in person. Benny's two brain cells finally find each other and rub together. He says that she's trying to trick him, not help. He says that he already told her what would help, and she's not listening, so why bother even asking. He's yelling by the end of it, and angrily looks at the phone, searching in vain for the "off" button. Unable to find it, he thrusts it at Jake, barking, "Turn this thing off." Jake just makes it look like he does, though, so the police can still hear everything going on. Or, so they "have ears," as they apparently like to say. Benny then demands to have the phone back, and Jake's tighty-whities aren't so white anymore. Benny doesn't even look at the phone though, forgetting, I guess, that he doesn't trust anyone, and just sticks it in his shirt pocket. Which makes it nice and easy for the cops to hear everything.
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