Episode Report Card Sara M: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Russell Dies
By Sara M | Season 19 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.22.2009
Back at the challenge, Russell drinks some water and a lone tear falls down his face. Stop crying, Russell! You need all the fluids you can get! He's able to sit up, but admits he feels a little light-headed. As Dr. Ramona prepares to take his blood pressure again, some alarms on the heart monitor thing beep and he falls backwards with his eyes open, totally unresponsive. It looks freaking scary. Probst is shitting himself. He is watching a contestant die on his show. There will be lawsuits. CBS won't like this at all. This season is a wash, for sure. Just as Probst is wondering if he can get a guest-hosting spot on Live With Regis and Kelly and lie in wait for Regis to retire/die so he can get a permanent position there, Russell comes back around, but Dr. Ramona says his heart rank dropped from 97 to 68 when they sat him up. Wow, that sure was a dumb move to sit him up then, wasn't it, Dr. Ramona? You're lucky he didn't die. Or that he didn't die more than he already did. Also, way to have such a thick Australian accent that you need subtitles. And get more camera time than Brett. Needless to say, this means that Russell has to leave this game. Because he's, like, dead. He did not survive. Russell is very upset to hear this news, but Probst has just the speech to cheer him up: "it's frustrating to be pulled out of a game you wanted to be part of for so long. You were in great shape, you were the leader of a tribe that was dominating. There were no signs that you were goin' home any time soon. You pushed and pushed and pushed your body until your body said 'enough.'" Hmmm. Basically, Probst is trying to make Russell feel better about having to leave the game by telling him how if he hadn't pushed himself so hard, he would have had a great chance to win a million dollars. Ha ha ha! That's terrible. Russell rips off the oxygen mask in anger and Probst decides that he can best serve Russell by leaving him alone. Seriously. Poor showing there, Probst. A tear rolls down Russell's cheek as the tragedy music swells.
Um, why is Russell one of the three choices for the Product Placement Player of the Week? Since when was it good Survivor strategy to work way too hard around camp and not drink water for five days and then take on an intensely physical challenge unnecessarily? And yet, I still think he did a better job this week than the other two choices, who are John, who was invisible, and Li'l Russell, who ate a banana. I really don't understand that Player of the Week thing.