Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Late Nate, Jr.
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 07.30.2005
Brenda's home phone rings, and she answers, "Where the fuck are you?" David identifies himself, but doesn't say much further besides the fact that something happened to Nate and David's headed to the hospital. "I just got a call," he non-explains. Brenda wonders who the caller is and why they didn't call her instead. Instead of answering, David asks, "Can you come?" Brenda says yes, which frees David up to hang up before Brenda can ask any more questions. He claims he's calling Ruth, but I think in order to get off that call he would have said the same thing if Ruth had been dead for ten years.
Claire and Lawyer Ted are out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, and they suddenly don't seem to have much to talk about. "It's nice to be quiet with someone," Ted remarks. Hey, maybe he should date Maggie. But he does manage to get Claire to tell him what's bothering her about the place: "I believe we've stumbled upon a Republican nest," she says. After that, it's a short jump to Claire dropping the phrase "stupid, evil war," a characterization with which Lawyer Ted disagrees: "We eliminated a murdering asshole dictator…The war was inevitable." Claire wonders if he's serious. He is, of course They stare at each other, wondering what the hell they've gotten into. Ted, here's a tip: don't use the word "quagmire."
Maggie's at the front desk at the emergency room, and someone asks her to fill out a medical history form. She can't even put pen to paper, since she knows nothing about Nate's medical history, aside from which direction he curves to. The moral? Always demand a full chart from all of your sexual partners. It's just common sense. The nurse kindly suggests Maggie check in Nate's jacket -- which she's still holding -- for his wallet, which might contain a clue as to his insurance provider. Fighting back tears, Maggie fumbles out the wallet. By the way, for all the folks who think Maggie's behavior makes her a big old whore, please note that she isn't shown removing any money.
Claire's date has gone from awkward to outright hostile. Ah, well; it was inevitable. I'm not going to get into the particulars of their argument, although I will say that while I basically agree with Claire's side, she's relying a little too heavily on personal attacks against Lawyer Ted. Who in turn is relying a little too heavily on abstract philosophy. But whatever. Thank God Claire's cell phone rings before things can get too much uglier. She answers, and there's a long pause while Ted resumes eating. And then his utensils freeze as Claire moans, "Oh, no." Those stupid telemarketers!
David has arrived at the hospital, and he and Maggie are talking to an ER doctor. David reveals that Nate's brain microbiologist is out of town, and they in turn learn from the doctor that Nate is still unconscious and will soon be going in for a CAT scan. Oh, no! Look out for cats, Nate! Even leaving aside what happened to the Corpse of the Week, all of Nate's ongoing bird symbolism would seem to contraindicate anything remotely feline. But of course I'm not any kind of doctor, let alone a specialist in symbolic medicine. The doctor gets confirmation from David that Nate has been asymptomatic since the beginning of Season Three, and then turns to Maggie for details of the moments immediately before Nate's near-fatal disk error. All she knows is Nate's remark about his arm. The doctor asks about any recent physical or mental stress, and David says Nate has indeed been under stress lately. He doesn't say why, although we all know that stress is like air for Nate; the most stressful situation I can imagine for him is having nothing to stress about. "But nothing physical?" the doctor asks. David looks at Maggie uncertainly, and she reluctantly admits that "There was…a climax." David looks mortified for Maggie and himself. "Okay, that's helpful," the doctor lies brightly, and takes off. Once David's alone with Maggie, he minds his own damn business, to his credit. He says Ruth's not answering her phone and she's not at George's. He even offers to call George again to see if he'd come to the hospital to be with Maggie, but she's like, "God, no." Gosh, why not? We've got to get Cromwell onscreen somehow. Maybe he could break the ice with a few inappropriate questions.