Episode Report Card Drunken Bee: B+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Girls Team
By Drunken Bee | Season 1 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.11.2006
At the competition, the arena is packed. Tami and Coach are confused in the stands; he reads the program and says it's still individual competition. Cheerleading Is A Sport really does create some weird shit like "individidual competition." Not that any performance-based individual sport isn't weird, but why the trappings of cheerleading if all you are doing is getting out there and showing how well you can snap your arms into formation repeatedly and then tumble around like a crazy lady? The whole concept gets very abstract if you take away the team aspect, is my (long-winded) point. The camera pans across the floor and we see a tiny girl doing a little routine by herself as a part of the individual competition. This looks very real; they must have shot some of this at an actual cheerleading competition.
In the warm-up area, a gay man (come on, we all know men involved in cheerleading are gay) reminds a set of girls that they have to follow NHSF rules, no jewelry whatsoever, and "if you have scorpion double-downs, scale double-downs, make sure you have spotters." I love the equal footing this event is getting with the football. Like they have their lingo ("go right ISO"), we have ours. Both of these activities are absurd and useless, but are also insanely meaningful in one certain, very focused context. Tim is in the crowd, as is Landry.
Bathroom, Smash runs to the sink to catch another nosebleed just as Coach zips up and walks to the sink. Smash says it's just a little nosebleed, and Coach says "Little? hell..." and watches Smash as the latter runs out of the room. Hopefully getting a clue so we can get this storyline to go somewhere finally.
Tami and Coach sit down the row from Julie and Matt, who wave. The Panther girls are cued up, about to get onto the matt, when Lyla comes running up, declaring "I'm here." Never in a million years would this happen, but whatever. Remember what I said about the short skirt? All the fudged reality in the world is worth it for that short skirt. She gives her name to Mr. Cheer who sort of nods in recognition and Lyla sasses, "Yeah, the whore with the website." Snap, girl. Nice to see her have at least a bit of backbone. Her Coach just sort of nods approvingly at Lyla's last-minute gumption and then tells Britney that "Lyla's flying." Britney looks slackjawed and annoyed, and Lyla better watch out or she's going to end up the subject for a Lifetime movie if she keeps stealing Britney's cheer fame. The girls shout "Go Panthers!" on three and the soundtrack turns up the slow, instrumental guitars as the girls take the mat.