Episode Report Card Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Fistbump
By Sara M | Season 20 | Episode 8 | Aired on 04.08.2010
With that, Probst asks Li'l Russell why his tribe brought all this stuff with them. A chicken clucking sound effect hammers this home, as apparently they even brought the chickens with them in a portable cage. I call bullshit on this, because it doesn't look like there are any chickens in that basket and if there were then Jerri wouldn't be complaining about how she's about to die from hunger and needs real food, since they have chickens to eat. Or maybe she would, since she apparently complains about everything. Li'l Russell says they just want to be prepared in case there's a merge, and points out that the Heroes are not prepared. That's because they know that the producers will move their stuff if they're moved to a new camp, you idiot! Colby starts freaking out that his tribe might have done itself a disservice by not bringing the camp with them, and then Probst launches into a speech about how they've been out there for 18 days (19, actually, according to the text) and 8 Tribal Councils, so they deserve "a bit of a break." He points at the pizza feast and says they'll all "have an opportunity" to eat it. That clearly doesn't mean they'll all be allowed to eat the pizza, but most of the remaining contestants are morons and hungry, so they start cheering until Colby, who knows Probst better than anyone else and so is best able to interpret his smirks, asks "what's the rub?" Probst ignores him and says "everybody ... drop ... your ... " and at this point, people are starting to remove their buffs and cheer for the merge. "Expectations," Probst concludes. "AWWWW," say the contestants. "Evil!" Courtney says. Probst does not appreciate that comment, and so will try to get back at her later on. "We are not merging," Probst grins. "Wah wah wahhhhh," Parvati Sad Trombones. Probst continues that the pizza is the reward if their tribe wins the challenge. And what is the challenge today? Well, odds are that it's recycled from Seasons 18 or 19, and yes, it's Survivor bowling from last season. One person from each tribe will face off to see who can knock over the most pins in two rolls. Whoever wins scores one point for the tribe, and the first tribe to three wins the reward. All that's left to do is pick who the Villains will be sitting out. Ah, but this proves difficult, as Douche immediately turns to Parvati and Danielle and says they once told him they were good at bowling. Did they really? When would this have ever come up? Douche asks Sandra if she wants to play or sit this one out. "I'll do whatever you guys want," Sandra says. But that's what she always says about everything, whether it's bowling or voting someone out. Sandra is all about the majority. Probst starts nagging the Villains for their answer. Parvati points out that they should think about who they're sitting out now and how those people won't be able to sit out in the next challenge. "Yeah, but I want to win this feast," Douche whines. Probst then asks Douche to tell him who is sitting out, like, why is Douche suddenly in charge of this? Considering all the shit Douche gets for this later, Probst totally set him up. Much to several of his tribemate's disgust, Douche selects Sandra and Courtney to sit out. Even though that means they'll have to participate in the immunity challenge, which will almost definitely be physical. And even though even if Danielle and Parvati were world-class professional bowlers, they wouldn't have any advantage going into this challenge because Survivor bowling is to real bowling like Survivor pizza is to real pizza. Douche's decision was pretty stupid, and his entire tribe knew it. But they didn't speak up or anything, so it's their fault, too.