Episode Report Card Sobell: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Safe and Sound
By Sobell | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 09.22.2008
The first order of caper business is to monkey with the elevator control panel so the team can head upstairs without anyone else getting on. Second order of caper business: getting off at the ninth floor by way of escaping through the top of the elevator.
Because capers are better when they're intercut with other action, we switch back to T-Bag, who has not been having a very good day at work. Tricia enters the office without him noticing and blocks the door as she says casually, "So! A couple of scruffy guys walk in, tell me they're from the insurance company, and they offer me $10,000 if I know where you are." She leans over T-Bag's desk, but he's not exactly mesmerized by her abundant cleavage. He may be wondering if it conceals weapons. Tricia says, "Something tells me there's a better offer on the table." On the couch, Mr. Sobell says, "Something tells me Tricia will be dead in a few episodes." T-Bag is living in the now, however, so he produces some deep-fried Dixie bloviation: "Well, I'll be, Tricia Ann. You just caught yourself a leprechaun. And as the legend goes, you got yourself one wish -- anything in the world." Tricia does not immediately wish for a top that would not get her sent home from most offices where the employees dress like grownups and not contestants in Amateur Pole-Dancing Night. T-Bag continues, "I am bound to grant it." Tricia says, "Your commencement check's sitting on my desk, waiting to be signed. That's a pretty nice pot of gold." T-Bag is not cool with that. Thinking fast, he continues his southern-fried bullshit: "Now it's true, leprechauns cannot refuse their captors' demands. But if they deem her to be greedy or covetous, whatever he desires will be accompanied with disastrous tidings." His whispery-predatory schtick fails to frighten Tricia. She deals with salespeople. Anyone who deals with salespeople around the end of a financial quarter is made of stern stuff. So Tricia asks for three percent of T-Bag's commissions from here on out.
Caper time! The first order of business is to get Sam out of the office, as Don Self has just learned, to his horror, that Sam was planning on just eating at his desk as they worked. Thinking quickly, Don Self blurts that he's now a vegetarian, so please let him treat Sam to lunch. Not wanting to offend Don's culinary sensibilities, Sam agrees to abandon his burger, and they head out for lunch. On the way out, Don uncaps the bottle Michael gave him and squeezes a quart of ink onto the floor.