Episode Report Card Pamie: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peaceth
By Pamie | Season 4 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.10.2004
Jess walks into Doose's market. Looks like Kirk took CuteDean's job behind the register (or was CuteDean just a bag boy? Here's where Wing schools me: ["You know, you're usually right, except about oatmeal, and where the Independence Inn is. But since you ask: I remember him shelving and bagging groceries, but not checking them out. Which is not to say he never is." -- Wing Chun]). Kirk is ringing up CuteDean's groceries, saying each one of them out loud. Nail polish remover. Lady Speed Stick. Jasmine body lotion. Kirk mocks CuteDean's feminine choices in products as Jess smirks next to him in line. Maybe Lindsay could lay off the Jasmine body lotion until her townhouse is built. Anyway, CuteDean's all staring at Jess, going, "It's for my wife." The fact that Jess is even smirking about how CuteDean has to buy nail polish remover proves that he's not even man enough to be in a relationship. He's gonna need a whole lot more workbooks to get through those issues. If your boyfriend hates buying you tampons, he's an idiot. A child. A man buying tampons is a man who gets laid because there's not a man on this planet who needs tampons for himself. Get over it, guys. When a girl buys condoms it means she's totally getting laid. You should hold those tampons over your head and go, "My ladyfriend is bleeding! I am a good boyfriend! I am taking care of her! We have sex on a regular basis and we're responsible about it so now she's on her period! Yes, that's right, we had another successful month of having sex without getting pregnant! Three cheers for me and my penis!" Kirk tells CuteDean that with the emery boards, his total comes to $19.67. Which is when this joke was first used. CuteDean hands Kirk a twenty, tells him to keep the change (no, you need a townhouse!), and mopes away. Jess stands there for a little while, and then hands over his stuff to Kirk. And then...oh. Wait. The scene ended. What a weird little scene. Why was that even there? And now we're at commercial. Dude. This recap is long.
Friday-night dinner. Emily is bummed out to hear that Rory has a final in the morning. She says that Rory could have stayed at school and studied if she needed to. Lorelai realizes that Emily is playing different music. It's not her usual classical background tune. Emily says they thought they'd try something new tonight. "'We'?" Lorelai asks. Emily says that Richard is out of town, but that she and he had talked about trying some new music. She changes the subject back to Rory, asking when she'll be done with her final tomorrow. Rory says she should be done by noon. Emily asks if Rory has girlfriends or boyfriends to keep her company. Rory says that everybody's pretty much gone. "And you don't have a boyfriend?" Emily checks. "Not really," Rory says. That's an accurate description of all of Rory's relationships over the past three years. "Why, do you?" Lorelai asks her mother. Emily gives her a look. Lorelai asks Emily where Richard is again. "In Philadelphia," Rory says slowly. "Thanks, Mom," Lorelai says. Emily asks Lorelai if she'd prefer that Richard's secretary faxed Lorelai Richard's itinerary every week. Lorelai says she'd like to be kept informed. Emily says that much of Richard's day lately is spent dealing with Floyd, "a.k.a. your ex-boyfriend's father," so Emily assumed Lorelai wouldn't want to know all of that. Emily asks Rory if she'll be free around noon the next day, so she can be thinking of her at the moment when the weight of school is lifted off Rory's shoulders. Emily excuses herself from the table to check on the raspberry soufflé. "Dad hates raspberries!" Lorelai says. "No, he doesn't," Emily says, and then leaves. Rory and Lorelai have a quick, whispered discussion. Lorelai wishes Emily would come clean about her separation from Richard. Rory wishes people would stop bugging her about her love life all the time. This goes on until Rory threatens to throw a roll at her mother. Lorelai says she's dying to find out how Emily and Richard are doing. Emily returns, happy to report that she saved the soufflé day. Rory says they were all about to change to new subjects. "Dad hates chicken kiev, doesn't he?" Lorelai asks. Emily gives Lorelai a "die, lady" look.