Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Woman To Look After You
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 07.20.2009
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Eddie springs a bracelet on Jackie for their one-year anniversary, which gesture she of course mangles terribly, and he ends up so hurt that he A) accuses her of not liking the bracelet because it's not made of Vicodin (oh yes he did) and B) gives it to Coop instead. So then Coop spends the day wearing the bracelet Eddie gave him, which is amazing.
After offering to pay for private school for Grace and Fiona, Eleanor finally shows a crack in the façade and pops a Xanax in front of Jackie. Classy as ever where drugs are concerned, Jackie steals half the bottle while breezily saying she's a lightweight. Then she returns the favor by inviting Eleanor to stay the night in Queens with the family, because of some kind of dastardly family doings we don't really hear all about. The next morning, Eleanor unthinkingly steals the Peyton's electric bill to pay it, and Kevin -- who's already in total hate with her and her blowsy, insulting ways -- is horrified to the point of murderousness. It's sort of shocking.
Patients include Zak Orth (from Romeo + Juliet and Wet Hot American Summer and Boys + Girls and like Michael Showalter's entire life), who got stabbed by a girl's ex-husband on their first date; a mysterious baby that Gloria Akalitus carries around the entire episode feeding it paperclips; a pedo who gets his catheter pulled the hard way, much to Zoey's wonderment; and, um... God.
Amid about fifty other repeated themes and motifs in this highly literary outing, yes. God spends the entire time screaming down from the skies in a fringed jacket, telling everybody they're going to Hell. He tells Zoey she's balding, calls Mo-Mo's scrubs feminine, and repeatedly points out what a whore Jackie is. The only person God likes, predictably, is Elenor O'Hara.
Having had enough of God's highjinks for one episode, Jackie tells him to leave her and her nurses alone, or at least to go after criminals and Caucasian men for once. She then reminds him to take his meds, because all the guilt and shame aren't helping, and he snaps into sanity just long enough to thank her before heading off to do just that. In related-if-unsurprising news, I officially have a new favorite show.
Discuss this episode in our Nurse Jackie forums, then see how Jackie's bedside manner compares to Meredith Grey's in TV is the Answer!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!I still hate the theme song, at least the part where it turns into Oz, but oh, how it makes my heart leap when I hear it. I am so smitten with this show! It's like a real-life goddamn love story. Jackie sits outside All Saints with Eleanor while she smokes, watching a man across the street about six floors up, wearing a fringed jacket and screaming with long hair and a beard, talking about how he's a God, how the whores better run, how nobody hides from the Almighty. "It's 9:15 AM!" he screams. Jackie shakes her head. "God's off his meds again."
Eleanor's wearing a sleek black suit and a black ascot with white polka-dots, looking awesome as usual. "Careful," she smirks, "Or he'll unleash a swarm of locusts." But on the upside, it would be a great time to start smoking again. "Nah," Jackie says. "I got kids." It's always something, Eleanor laughs, and Jackie mentions how they're probably going to send Grace to Immaculate Virgin. "Immaculate Virgin. That's a bit redundant, don't you think?" Jackie looks at her. "Dirty Virgin?" Eleanor suggests, but Jackie's not interested in sacrilege right now; not with God watching. Grace is found in silence. Grace is always quiet.
"It's four grand if we join the Parish," Jackie sighs tiredly, "Seven if we don't." Eleanor points out -- all humility aside -- that she's "bulletproof," even in this economy, and before Jackie can protest, she asks to at least get the words out first: "If you like, I'll pay for the girls' school." Jackie thanks her, but points out in a very serious tone that Kevin would blow a gasket.
They stand up and Jackie points at Eleanor's feet: two very different, very expensive shoes. "Everything all right?" Eleanor laughs: "What, because my shoes don't match? Please." She remembers to thank Jackie for asking, and heads inside. Jackie watches her go. This is her whole job, locating trauma and doing triage. Her phone rings, throwing her off track: it's a text from Eddie. Got something 4 U.
"Hey! Hey, you! I am God! And you are an asshole!" She smiles and heads inside: she already knew that. "Go in peace! You pieces of shit!"
A billion nurses and doctors go running past Thor, so he assumes there's cake. But instead of cake, there's multiple stab wounds and difficulty breathing. "I can imagine," says Eleanor grimly. "Oh. Ew," says Thor, and leaves. A woman enters the ER and tells Eleanor the guy is 33, she thinks. He's a big guy; there's a steak knife sticking out of his chest and blood all over. "We work nights. He took me for breakfast... It was going so good..." Zoey nods sagely: "So you stabbed him." Um, no, you lunatic. "My ex did! He followed us. I had a restraining order..." Zoey shakes her head: her cousin had one of those. "They don't always work." Jackie ushers her out of the room, weirded out as usual.