Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT And I Think It's Gonna Be A Long, Long Time
By Al Lowe | Season 7 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.25.2006
Rory suggests that in order to not talk she and Loreai go to the movies. Or, maybe shopping. Or perhaps they could go to a bar and throw back a few. "Yeah," Lorelai scoffs, "because drunk people never feel like talking. Ooh! We could go to a club." Rory rolls her eyes. "Yeah, because all hot spots get rolling right around lunch time." Lorelai sighs and says that this is the reason men play sports. "Sports!" Rory says. "We could play sports!" Lorelai reminds her that they hate sports, but suggests they try running. "We could easily talk while we were running," Rory says. "Not," Lorelai answers, "if we were hurdling!" Or, she says, they could do "that kind of running that's like... you leap around a tree and up a hill and..." Rory interrupts: "You want to run cross country?" Lorelai shakes her head: "Well, not the whole country! Maybe just Michigan."
Michel returns to his desk to sort his Post-Its and Rory and Lorelai quiz him about his sporting life. "Well, since I am maimed, potentially for life," he drones, indicating his bandaged wrist, "I may never play sports again." The thought of Michel playing sports, ever, provides more laughs than this entire episode, combined. Lorelai asks him to think back to the time before his life-altering tragedy, and he suggests that they try racquetball. They are intrigued and must know more. "Can we wear cute outfits?" Rory asks, getting to the important part. Michel: "I do." They are sold. Lorelai tells Rory to go home and get ready; she'll see her in an hour for racquetball. "And remember," she adds, "no talking." Rory agrees, with one provision. "Except for smack talking," she says, "because I am so gonna kick your butt in racquetball! I mean, my balls...they are gonna bounce so much further than your balls." Heeee! BALLS! Stop saying it! How Michel held it together without stuffing a stack of Post-Its in his mouth, I don't know. "Okay, well," Lorelai says, trying to get in on the smack, "you haven't seen my great top...flick wrist...spin...." Rory holds up her hands: "We'll learn the terms." Lorelai nods and tells her to go home and study.
At home, Rory is unpacking Logan's rocket (hey!) when he happens to call to announce that he has landed at Heathrow. She tells him she's off to play racquetball with her mom. "This is a really bad connection," he says. "It sounded like you're gonna go play racquetball with your mom!" Rory says that she may have a hidden talent for it, he doesn't know. What sort of crazy pills have these Gilmore people been slipping into my drinks lately? Because, do y'all find Logan cute all of a sudden? I mean, is it just because I am mad at Luke and Lorelai that I find Rory and Logan kind of charming? Are they brainwashing me with that Secret commercial? What is happening? Where am I? What's next -- I start watching One Tree Hill?