Episode Report Card Demian: C- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT The Torn Identity
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 18 | Aired on April 22, 2006
Previously on CANCELLED!...ooops! My tape cut off the previouslys. However, I'm pretty sure it wassss raining outsssside the night the Retard'ssss ssssisssster wassss taken. I'm also fairly certain Raige wed Darling Henry, Stoop introduced himself to the Feebs, The Angel Of Teasley tossed a gigantic Doltsicle into her great big Sub-Zero in the sky, Noxon demons can't be vanquished, Ma and Pa Retard got whacked in their hotel room, and Openly Evil Chrissssty thrust her fist and forearm through Candor's chest at Not!warts.
Currently on CANCELLED!, we fade up on the brilliantly sunlit quad of a university I suppose I should recognize from its bell tower, which is a fairish replica of the one that famously collapsed in Venice, but I don't recognize it, and I really can't be bothered to look it up at so late a stage in the game. (Except, of course, for the part where I just did, and now I'm positively florid with disgust. The Ultimate Retard matriculates at Berkeley? GOD, I hate this fucking show.) We cross-fade to the low, vaguely Gothic façade of one of the dormitories before heading inside to find The Ultimate Retard and Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty returning to the former's obnoxiously enormous single from their parents' joint funeral somewhere in The Flyover. If I cared about The Ultimate Retard or Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty at all, I'd likely call bullshit on this entire exercise because, as their parents' only heirs, they'd be stuck in The Flyover dealing with the estate for the next three months at the very least and so should not be befouling my television screen at the moment, but I don't care about The Ultimate Retard or Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty at all, so whatever. CANCELLED! Maggot Neck and Chrissssty enter to perch on the bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Long story short, Chrissssty blames Piper for their parents' untimely demise for, as her reasoning goes, had Piper not called Maggot Neck back to the Manor, The Ultimate Retard would have been able to protect Ma and Pa from the Noxons' attack. Or something like that. Just know that Chrissssty's efforts to separate her sister from the Glamorous Idiots begins in this scene, and let's make like Chrissssty herself and get the hell away from The Ultimate Retard by slipping through the doorway and disappearing into a flash of white that whisks us over to..