Episode Report Card Potes: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hazy, Hot and Humorless
By Potes | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 05.13.2012
For his part, Joe Gorga finally chips in with his two cents about Teresa's lack of basic comprehension skills. The baseline here is that these people just really fucking hate each other and one couple should bite it and move far, far away. Or just Juicy should move far, far away. Like Siberia, or a molten hole in the center of the earth. He says lots of derogatory things about how Joe Gorga is a woman, and Caroline is boring, and Kathy looks like a frog, and Rosie is a butch boy, and then tells Teresa that she doesn't need anyone but him. Isn't that a hallmark sign of abusive spouses? In any case, Teresa should take exactly the opposite advice of any advice Juicy Joe gives her. Listen to the advice, reverse it, and do that. As Juicy reaffirms his position that Joe -- or Josephine, as he is now known -- is a bitch, we head to commercials.
When we return, Teresa heads to Jacqueline's for a little heart to heart. Jacqueline, as it happens, is upset that Teresa put her on the spot at the Solsist party. She's wearing a Skinny Italian t-shirt as she breaks this news, which shows that she's actually a good friend. I can't remember exactly what happened at this party, and I'm pretty fucking sick of hearing them talk about it. Instead of trying to figure it out, I'm going to spend a minute talking about Teresa's worrisome sun damage. Her chest looks like it has liver spots. Not good! Anyway, Teresa tells Jacqueline that she should have loyalty to her rather than her sister-in-law, Caroline. Teresa claims that if Jacqueline's sister-in-law said something about her to Teresa, Teresa would tell Jacqueline. Jacqueline gets a funny look and then brings up Dina Manzo. The beloved Dina Manzo! The real juice is that Jacqueline and Dina aren't even talking. This is what everyone wants to know about really, but it's just a point to illustrate that Teresa is friends with Dina and Jacqueline doesn't try to interfere with their friendship just because she has some probably juicy beef with Dina OH MY GOD WHAT IS IT. How could it be that the House of Manzo is as fucked up as the House of Gorga? This show is not doing people of Italian descent any favors, as you already know. Anyway, Jacqueline and Teresa aren't going to end their friendship over this. YET.
Oh my God, and then Jacqueline's trainer shows up and her name is Jolene! Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene! If your name is Jolene you should avoid me at all costs, because I will sing that song in your face constantly. And... wait. Jolene then removes herself from the room where Jacqueline is doing some exercises to, like, sneak in a sip from a bottle of Sutter Home White Zinfandel (the latter part of that is an assumption) that she's carrying in her purse. Jacqueline wonders why everyone she comes in contact with is batshit insane. I'll tell you one thing, which is that if I ever pass through New Jersey I'm giving Franklin Lakes a wide berth. Right in the middle of it all, Kathy calls to say hi and invite Teresa to the pool party. She is kind about all of it, even though drunk trainer Jolene looks on suspiciously. Teresa wants to go to Kathy's party, but doesn't want to fight with her family in front of her kids. I'm sure that means she'll fight with her family in front of the kids.