Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The 09 Is Even Worse Than You Thought
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.15.2005
Logan's flipping around on the TV when Kendall comes out of Duncan's room, making sure to wipe her mouth where Logan can see. You have no idea how close I came to titling this recap "A Six-Month Follow-Up Trip To The Dentist." I don't actually think they did anything, because it's Duncan, and the only interesting things he's ever done were (a) kill his sister; (b) sleep with his other sister; and (c) go off his meds, become a Ghost Whisperer, and learn to fly. None of which stuck. Watching Kendall leave and clearly not having any feelings about it, Logan asks, "Ever think about just getting a job?" She turns, and it's nice because she doesn't come off as ashamed, or embarrassed, or weird about it: "This is my job." Whoa. I kind of respect her, now. Duncan? Not so much.
Now they've moved Nubilipalooza out to Gia's pool, and Madison is talking about how Pretty Woman is her favorite movie (it's one of my top three, as well), and that Vivian is her hero. "She's a hooker," notes Veronica. "Only because she had to be!" whines Madison. "She's a hooker!" repeats Veronica, hilariously, and then Madison goes to a stupid place, pointing at Veronica's chest and sputtering, "You should put a tattoo right here, so people will have something to look at." Good one, moron. She gasps and laughs long enough for Veronica to gear up: "So, Gia, how are things with you and Dick?" Again, Gia's useful but not so much a friend friend. "Dick?" gasps Madison. "Like, my Dick?" If every episode of this season has a Dick joke like that, I could die happy. Gia's like, "You dated Dick? How weird." I guess she's too close to the situation, or she'd have picked up on how they're perfect for each other. Dick and Beaver arrive, yelling about the "panty raid" and "spin the bottle," and Veronica -- fearing, I assume, that the twins'll be arriving shortly in their red Fiat Spyder -- takes off.
Back home, Veronica jumps into bed. Keith appears and notes that when Veronica leaves a sleepover early, he's supposed to put a trenchcoat on over his PJs and come pick her up, and she clarifies some things for him. 1) She's driving these days, and 2) She's not nine. "You'll always be nine to me," he sniffs, "Going on thirty." To be fair, she kind of still is. Keith smells the cigar store on her jacket, and then buries his face in it weirdly, and she asks if he'd like to be alone with it. Still not shying away from the whole "Who's Your Daddy" issue, are we? Keith bugs her about how they must have at some point talked about smoking (they did: "Don't"), and it gives her the opportunity to tell Keith the truth. Which always sounds like a lie when she does it. Well, most of the truth: she says she stopped into the cigar store to use the bathroom. He asks her to find other facilities next time, because that particular store is notorious for drug trafficking and he tried to bust it like twenty times, back when he had a real job.
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